Okay, Team Unpickled! Time to pull together and put our collective energy to good use.
Weekends are a busy time on this blog.
Weekends can bugger with the newly sober and trip them up. They often come here for help and inspiration.
Weekends are also a busy time for those who are in an ongoing, unhappy relationship with alcohol. Many Saturday morning readers are nursing a horrible hangover (poor souls – such a terrible feeling!) and often it is made worse by shame and regret. Many are here because they started the day saying, “I won’t have any today” and then BOOM; *it* happened *again*.
So here is what I am asking you sober ninjas to do. Please help out seekers by commenting with the following:
1. What you did instead of drinking this weekend and how was it better or worse than drinking
2. On the day you got sober, what is the one thing you did that was different? What made it work THAT time?
3. What is the best part of being sober?
4. What keeps you going?
Here are my answers:
1. MY FRDAY NIGHT: I did an errand I’ve been putting off for weeks – driving 90 minutes to our ski cabin to pick up some things my father-in-law left here. I drove out in the late afternoon and am hanging out in this pretty, quiet place (no one at the ski hill in summer!) alone for a while. I decided to wash some towels and sheets, make a cup of tea, and write on my blog for an hour or two before driving back home again. If I time it right I will be moving through a glorious orange and pink sunset around 8:30 p.m. I could have spent the night here but around 10 pm it gets a little too dark and lonely, which I find triggering. So instead I will drive home, pick up a yummy treat to enjoy once I get home (delayed gratification!), and watch a movie in my pjs (drinking tea!) once I get there. Not the crazy Friday night I would have orchestrated when drinking, but a gorgeous drive to and from the mountains, some quiet time writing to all of you, and listening to Dr. Jenn on the radio while I drive — those are all things I sincerely enjoy and I am happy to be doing them tonight. PLUS I am doing a helpful errand for my father-in-law, which also feels good. Wayyyyy better than drinking too much and hating myself for it!
2. WHAT I DID DIFFERENTLY ON THE DAY I STOPPED DRINKING: I told someone the truth. And that person agreed that something needed to change.
3. BEST PART ABOUT BEING SOBER: I like myself now.
4. WHAT KEEPS ME GOING: The idea of being a really cool, together old lady one day. If I had kept drinking, I would have been a mess – sick, bitter, and alone. Instead I am vibrant, strong, interested, and interesting. I plan on staying this way!
Okay readers, now it is your turn. Please post your answers and know that your comment will 100% help someone!
PS – if you are here looking for answers or encouragement, WELCOME. You are not alone, you are not weird. Alcohol can go off-track for a lot of us and it does not make any of us bad people. Stay, read, and reach out. Consider living without alcohol – it is a lovely, better way that the daily struggle you may find yourself in. Connecting with others is HUGE help, so muster up your courage and post something in the comments section. You will be amazed by how good it feels to discuss things openly with people who understand.
UnPickled 
Good morning and welcome to Monday! I have just come across this thread but it seems all the posts are from 2015. Maybe I am not searching very well but I was looking for more recent posts?
LikeLike
June 23,2014 was the first day of sobriety…I made it 8 months…I did start drinking again…however weird as it may sound I’m not knocking myself for doing it. What I have realized is that my personality changes when I drink…that is what I don’t like. Last time I knew “I had to” quit…this time it’s because I want to. So today is day 1… going into this with positive thinking….this time I don’t feel like I will be missing out on the wine…Cause really it doesn’t even taste good…it’s expensive …and the only thing you get is a hangover the next day.
LikeLike
I am cheering you on – how are you managing? What’s working, what’s not?
LikeLike
It’s funny how relapsing your delivers more of the same lessons, only worse.
Congrats on starting over again and reminding me that one of the things I also grew to hate about drinking was how it prevented me from being me. I lost every ounce of specialness I had.
Not being able to be oneself is a big burden over time. I’m on day 165 now and it’s good to be able to avoid misrepresenting myself with alcohol.
Thanks again for reminding me of one of the most special gifts of sobriety.
Easy Rider
LikeLike
It’s funny how relapsing delivers more of the same lessons, only worse.
Congrats on starting over again and reminding me that one of the things I also grew to hate about drinking was how it prevented me from being me. I lost every ounce of specialness I had.
Not being able to be oneself is a big burden over time. I’m on day 165 now and it’s good to be able to avoid misrepresenting myself with alcohol.
Thanks again for reminding me of one of the most special gifts of sobriety.
Easy Rider
LikeLike
I’ve come here to get some like-minded insight so to speak for my decision to stop binge drinking. I really respect the transparency I’ve seen thus far and the candid approach given by some because to make a real commitment to this you cannot fool yourself or be too flippant about the seriousness of the situation I’m still reading some posts and gaining some insight and tools.
I appreciate the fact that this exists and I was able to locate it. I will give more details about myself over the upcoming days as i peruse your site and posts.
LikeLike
“Transparency, real commitment and fool yourself.” Those are the catchwords that stand out for me in reading your intro. Dante, I hope you’ll seriously think more about these words going forward. They all touch upon important areas of your successful road to sobriety…and from one fellow binge drinker to another, it sure is nice to be off that scary-go-round and out of what I call Fear Jail.
I look forward to reading your future posts. I get the feeling you might have a lot to teach us all.
Easy Rider
LikeLike
First weekend sober so delightes to have found this amazing read..only 5 days in but so determined to see this weekend through sober. if i can make it through this one weekend and scribble down all the things that were better without Friday wine and Saturday wine and Sunday wine I will literally feel like a hero. Have been eating this blog for breakfast lunch and dinner it’s the best thing I’ve ever read it has literally opened my eyes to the other side of all this… thanks so much you have all got me through the nightmare 5 days
LikeLiked by 1 person
Welcome! So glad you are here. Jump in! Life is good here in SaneTown!
LikeLike
Hi UnPickled. I stumbled across this blog as I’ve become increasingly fed up with drinking and how awful it makes me feel. My mother had a big drinking problem all through my childhood (I’m 31 now) and it really did shape my life. I always thought of it as such a negative thing, but now looking back I really believe it made me a much stronger person and despite the fact she still drinks, we have found a way to have a decent and loving relationship. I always blamed her for so much and I think now I realise it wasn’t all her fault and she was caught up in her own hell as much as I was. I felt like I had two mothers – the sober one and the drunk one. It was so difficult loving one and hating the other and I’m surprised sometimes I came out of it a normal and grounded person. Although I don’t act the way my mother does when I drink and I’m not as dependant on it, I still see how negative an impact it has on my life. When I have a quiet (non boozy) week, I feel I enjoy work, I’m less tired, I exercise, cook and just generally feel so much more positive and able to deal with everything life dishes out!
I’m glad I’ve found somewhere to hear from inspirational people whose stories and comments will help me do the best I can with giving up too. Thanks!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Rhona, glad you found your way here! You have the double whammy of being ACOA (Adult Child of an Alcoholic – yep there’s a name for that!) and being addicted now yourself. There are TONS of others in the same situation and there is so much literature and support for you. I hope you will take advantage of the practical advice on my blog for getting free from alcohol, but I encourage you to consider a program or support group as well just because of some of the healing from your childhood that can be very scary to face without support and guidance. You have discovered your inner superhero! Let’s polish her up and nurture her back to health so that you can be all that you can be!!! xoxox Super excited for you!!!
LikeLike
Hi, I’m so glad I’ve found you all!!! I’m on Day 32. I am proud of making it through my first month and I am aiming for 100 days. I have beaten back cravings by spending most of my time in bed, reading sober blogs, and guzzling sober treats like candy, tea, choc chip cookies. I had a very tough day 30 and 31 due to some rocky days at work, and found myself very alone. I’ve read how important a sober community is, but I haven’t been able to carve one out. Enter all you!! I hope you spend time to read and respond. Lonely sober sucks;)
Here goes with the sober weekend questions:
1. Last sober weekend, I got a brutal email from my supervisor to myself and my top boss at 5 pm on a Saturday. I spent the rest of the weekend crying, unable to sleep and trying to carve out a battle plan. I am positive things will be better this weekend. I’d like to buy a day 30 sober treat at the outlet mall and maybe grab a yummy lobster roll dinner.
2. This is my first time quitting. I was drinking nearly a whole bottle of red every night at home alone. I had answered a quiz on a Sunday totaling up the number of drinks I inhaled over the past week. It wasn’t pretty. Of course, the kicker is that while I calculated how much I drank and was shocked and repelled on a Sunday, I held off quitting until Tuesday because I still had wine left over and I had to finish it off. Gotta love drinker’s logic. What I did I did differently when I quit on a Tuesday, May 5, was hunker down and read Belle (tired of thinking about drinking) and other blogs. It’s helped a great deal.
3. I like being sober cause I am way more on top of my job and my life. Before I quit I was just existing, trying to get through the day until my next drink. I have more ideas and more energy to see them through now.
4. What keeps me going? I’m not proud to admit it but I’m super competitive. This is not the introspective journey that I will definitely need to take in order to become and stay sober, but when it comes to white-knuckling thru tough days my competitive side helped keep me on track. I am reaching out for support because I know this great, sympathetic community is vital to sober success!
Happy sober Friday all! Here’s to another great sober weekend!
LikeLiked by 4 people
If you were standing in front of me, I would grab you and SCREAM: YOU DID IT! and jump up and down like a damn fool, clapping my hands, and most probably hug you so hard you would pass out. You have hit a huge milestone, and so glad that you shared that milestone with this group.
One important thing I would like to point out is you are never alone. Even in the absence of human beings you are not alone. You are surrounded by love and support 24/7 that you can call on anytime.
And I am a competitive soul sister. In rehab, all I heard was ‘the odds are stacked against you, you will fail. We will see you again’, and in my head I was yelling ‘oh hell no, I’ll prove you all wrong’, and and I have been sober ever since.
Congratulations! xoxo
LikeLiked by 2 people
Oh Jane, this is so what I needed to hear I laughed and cried like a big dope:) Thank you, thank you!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree with Jane, some shout-y jumping and hugging is in order here! Way to go!!! And great job to plan some nice treats for yourself this weekend – what did you end up doing for yourself? So happy to have you here with us and congrats on your hard-won 34+ days 🙂
LikeLike
Thank you so much! I’ve spent most of the weekend reading your lovely blog. What a great community you have created! I also did a bit of shopping (cute Eiffel Tower print shirt) and I managed to get through band practice with a club soda raspberry fizz that was delish! Very happy for your feedback and glad I can share my victories and occasional struggles. Hugs!!
LikeLike
Hi!! I’m writing here because I randomly realized today that I miss Jane:) Jane, who wrote me the exact nice thing I needed to hear at the exact right time. How are you Jane? I’d love to keep in touch or just read your blog/blog posts if you’ll direct me to them;) So grateful for your response to me, and I’d love to be a penpal. Thanks again! Hope you’re well.
LikeLike
Good morning! I am great. More importantly, how are you doing? You sound fantastic!
I do not have a blog — either of us could most probably start one, and use it as a place to just let off some steam, touch base, keep in touch. What do you think?
LikeLike
I am well, thanks!! Trucking along on day 46. A blog sounds fun, though I’ll admit a little out of my element. Like the idea of somewhere to stay in touch. I could also send along my email somehow if maybe unpickeled could help. I don’t have any sober pen pals apart from being on Belle’s 100 day challenge.
So glad to hear from you and hear you’re well! How many days have you been sober (and forgive me for asking if you don’t count days:) I’m sure you have lots to teach me about this sober path. Hopefully we can connect!
LikeLike
Congratulations on Day 47! I am so proud of you! i think another round of jumping up and down, and clapping furiously is in order!
I have been sober for almost 11 years, that is about 3,907 days if I did the math right (I am horrible at math). WOW that was an eye opener for me, thank you for that gift as I have not counted days in a long time. I can definitely share experience, and what I have learned along the way — what worked/did not work for me. I am very blessed to have people come into my life who did the same for me. Ask me anything.
My sober life pretty much started when I attended a class in rehab. I was most probably into day 3 of a 7 day stay and losing hope of finding the answers to staying sober. I was detoxing, and going through the motions but had no idea how I was going to live once they released me. Initially, I was terrified about going into rehab, and found myself more terrified to leave. What a crazy paradox!
I walked into another class, and tired of hearing about the damage I had done to my brain, body, organs, how to attend AA meetings…..yada, yada, yada, and found myself perking up when I heard the instructor say that I only needed 3 things to stay sober: Honesty, Humility, Desire. I wrote the words down, did a mental check, and realized I truly had those things. Light bulb started to glow…
I am a very pragmatic person, and like to be told the truth good or bad, and this instructor laid it on the line. He broke down sobriety into days, then months, and finally years, and described all the pitfalls and how to get through them. I finally had useful information and my first set of tools! I knew I was going to be OK.
I decided at that point in time that I needed to figure out why I drank because if I did not, I was not going to be able to maintain sobriety. I did individual and group substance abuse counseling once I was released from rehab, and learned even more through shared experiences. I finally opened up and let out all the pain that I had been trying to drown with alcohol. Scarey? Hell yes.
We are addicted because we are in pain. Confront the pain, analyze, accept, forgive is truly the greatest gift you can ever give yourself. Hold yourself accountable, you and only you are responsible for your actions, and happiness. Make amends to those that you hurt, and forgive yourself. Never minimize your feelings. We have a tendency to tell ourselves, ‘I shouldn’t be feeling angry’ (or some other emotion), when, in fact this is truly what you are experiencing. Step outside the emotion, analyze, accept and let go. You cannot expect others to love and validate you if you cannot do the same for yourself. This is a process, and you need to work at it.
Every day is a new day to practice being a kinder, gentler person. Am I always good at it? No, at least I can honestly say I tried, and if I failed, vow to do better. Your first year is all about dealing with situations and feelings sober, which can be quite daunting depending on how long you have been an active alcoholic. I started drinking at 16 so my drinking career spanned several decades.
The best thing about being sober? FREEDOM. I can look at myself in the mirror, see the scars as proof of where I came from, and know I am OK for today. I end each day with gratefulness. A bad day sober is better than any day drunk so I always have one thing to be grateful for…..
One last piece of advice: Guard your sobriety as fiercely as you fed your addiction. I lost a lot of friends because I stopped drinking. Eventually realized they never were true friends because they did not support my decision to change. The people I have in my life are there because of love and honor, not the false comraderie of getting trashed together.
Sorry this is so long. Have a great weekend, and know I am in your corner, cheering you on! xoxo
LikeLiked by 1 person
I *knew* I met you for the right reason!! Not only do you have me laughing every time you write, but now you’ve floored me with your wisdom! Thanks for your great insights! I have so many questions, and every day I notice something new. For example, everything tastes different (unfortunately not as good). I gobbled up pre-packaged junk with gusto before, and now I realize it tastes, well, sorta junky. I also just read about the difference between being “dry” and “sober” and it made me angry. I feel like I’m doing so much work to not drink and there’s this classification out there that tells me I’m not drinking the wrong way;) Anyway. I love hearing from you. Don’t ever apologize for writing long!
LikeLike
Alcohol dulls everything, including your taste buds. Have you noticed that your tongue no longer has that icky film on it that no matter how hard you scrub, never came off? You are alive! Everything smells and tastes better. Drink lots of water. I also found that I was a bit manic my first year. Alcohol did the slow down job for me, and I had to learn to do it for myself.
I have been told that I am a dry drunk because I do not attend AA on a regular basis though in AA, I have encountered individuals who have not changed except the fact they no longer drink alcohol. To each his own. There is no right or wrong way to be sober. I do have a question. Why so angry about the differences between dry and sober? Examine your reaction. Step outside of it and analyze. If you are comfortable, let me know what you learn.
I encourage you to seek out resources in your area. You may be surprised at what you find. Remember, you are relearning how to live, and it is your choice to decide what fits and what does not fit into your new life.
A book that really helped me: The 12 Steps for Women. I also found small books with daily meditations. Sometimes the message made no sense, and sometimes the message was so accurate, made me weepy.
One more thing. Identify your triggers. If you can get your head wrapped around some of of the reasons why you chose to drink, they will not blindside you when they present themselves in your sober life. Get your game plan ready.
xoxo
LikeLike
Hi Jane. You are certainly a gift to this blog. I think your post here is a very accurate depiction of exactly what it takes to both get and maintain sobriety.
As far as your posts go, the longer the better for me. I guess that says it all.
Thanks as always for your contribution to my sobriety.
Easy Rider
LikeLike
I have a lot of anger. If I were to think about why “dry” makes me angry, I suppose it’s because I’ve worked really hard not to drink all this time, and when I feel as though the sober vs. dry folks are telling me I’ve been not drinking the wrong way. It doesn’t seem very supportive, but if I were to examine myself it def triggers some perfectionism and people pleasing that’s not always in my best interest. Clearly I need to be quitting drinking the “right” way or it doesn’t count:) I have been going to weekly SMART meetings, and I definitely will check out the book you suggested. Please to email me at drinkstainedwretch@gmail.com I am so delighted to be able to talk to you about every inch of this sober journey!
LikeLike
Easy Rider, you too are a gift to this blog. Your no holds barred, straight in your face posts are enlightening! You have really helped me understand how real relapse is no matter how many years of sobriety someone has. I would like to hear more about your journey, why you picked up again after so many years, and what you are doing differently this time.
Jane
LikeLike
Hi Jane,
I am replying to your questions about why I relapsed and what’s different now. I had to do it here because there is no other reply link for me under you post.
About nine and a half years ago, I was at a party given by my new heavy-drinking girlfriend. I hadn’t had a drop of alcohol in nearly 18 years. I never even thought about alcohol. I was often around drinking people but was never tempted. It just wasn’t part of my life. I didn’t miss it anymore than I would miss driving in the Indy 500.
But I had long stopped working any program. I had also long ago forgotten where I had come from. I was doing well in life. Drinking wasn’t a threat and I had lost all healthy fear of booze. I was swimming with the sharks all the time and they never bit. I was a lamb waiting for slaughter.
So, this party had several people from Australia who had brought over supposedly great wine. They offered. I declined. Strangely, I creepily started thinking amongst this group of friendly strangers, “I wonder what it would be like now? How would it feel? Just a glass of wine?” Impulsively and regrettably, I took a glass of red wine (wine was always my favorite) when offered later and drank it.
Over the next year or so, I drank…but only very carefully and infrequently. Two was always my limit. Classic controlled drinking by a ticking time bomb. Eventually, of course, I ran into a very long July 4 party and had several spaced out champagnes with a lot of food. I got high, but not drunk. Now the die was cast however. I was really convinced I could drink like a normal person.
During the next year I started to get drunk infrequently but by year three, I was back to abusing alcohol whenever I wanted. I liked it and I had started smoking again too, after nearly 20 years of abstinence. This charade continued for several years while I went through a divorce and a complete career change. What a mess! Drinking had changed me for the worse. Even I knew that and I was sick of my damaged self.
99 days ago, I finally stopped drinking and had stopped smoking about three weeks prior. It was during the depressive effects of my last hangover that I started to form the idea that I was done. Good and done. I can’t say why this happened to me just then. It simply became obvious to me that not remembering how I got home again would soon land me in jail and I couldn’t count on my luck any longer. The wasted Saturdays were just too much. I was tired of feeling guilty and confused. I had never experienced the unpredictability of alcohol as I had in the last couple of years.
Now that I’m 63, my urgency regards sobriety is very high. No time to waste and my childish, humiliating, dangerous games with alcohol are done. Wish I could have stopped earlier, but accepting that this is the way things just had to be is part of recovery.
Fortunately, I don’t have the slightest urge to drink anymore. It’s all about resolve, reliance (on others like this blog for help), humility and happiness about no longer being in what I call Fear Jail. That’s all alcohol ever really did for me, make me afraid of success, make me afraid of facing life on life’s terms.
If anything’s different now, it’s that I’m working harder on my spirituality and on turing it over. I can’t take much credit for my current short-lived sobriety. I’ve just been blessed and I’m grateful every day for that. I’ve still got a long way to go, but I’ve got the feeling I’m gonna get there. Thanks for asking.
Easy Rider
LikeLiked by 1 person
Easy Rider, thank you from my heart for your honesty and candidness! You answered a question I have sometimes about ever being able to go back to being a ‘social’ drinker, and the conclusion is a resounding no.
LikeLike
Great to hear DSW
LikeLike
I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your blog. I’ve been trying to stop drinking for the past year. Last night I once again told myself that I don’t want to do this anymore. I’ve tried a lot of things (AA meetings, the bible, giving it up to Jesus, telling my parents, telling my best friend, going to a counselor, yoga) but somehow I find my way back to alcohol each night. Last night, before I drank my 6-pack for the night, my husband asked me how I was doing. I gave him an honest answer: Not good…I’m miserable with myself. I know that drinking is not ever going to help me feel better about myself, but I keep drowning my thoughts and feelings in alcohol each night. It’s insanity – I know it. I want to make changes for my life and I know this needs to be the first step. I’m sick and tired of feeling miserable. And I think that if I don’t stop, I will end up drinking myself to death – although when I made that conclusion last night, I was alarmed at the fact that I didn’t feel frightened by it. This is a huge red flag to me that the alcohol has truly taken hold of me. So after I drank my nightly six-pack, feel asleep, and then woke up at 4am, I decided to Google “alcoholic blogs” – sort of out of desperation. I just wanted to hear from someone that I’m not alone and that there is hope for change. This blog was one of the results, and this post especially spoke to me – the question, “What did you do differently on the day you stopped drinking”. I’ve spent all day reading through the answers to that question. It has given me hope and strength to get through today without drinking, so far. I plan for today to be the day I finally stop.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hello Runawayelli,
Your life is about to change in ways never to be imagined, if you stick to your plan. I know that possibly sounds preposterous, but it’s true.
I won’t bore you with details you will best enjoy discovering yourself, though you have already read over and over how much better it is leading a sober life as opposed to leading a not-so-enjoyable life of quiet desperation.
Whenever I hear of another person deciding to get sober, I’m always reminded of the beautifully truthful exchange between Jack Lemon and Lee Remick in Days of Wine and Roses. “You’d be surprised how much fun you can have sober, when you get the hang of it. Believe me, it’s the greatest – getting excited over a chocolate bar.”
That’s what sobriety reminds me of a lot sometimes.
Welcome to the journey.
Easy Rider
LikeLiked by 1 person
What you are going through is the storm before the calm. Your rational self knows what needs to be done, you just have to take the plunge. Being horribly tired of fighting the battle is the number one sign it is time to stop. You are so close!
Sobriety has has no negatives. That, my friend, is the miracle.
xoxo
LikeLike
Hi Runawayellie – I am so glad you’re here and as you can see, other readers are jumping in to support you. There are amaaaaazing people encouraging one another on this site and you will witness something special about us sober peeps – we are good to each other. Stick around, keep posting, ask questions, do things differently in your life and let us know what’s working, what’s challenging you. We get through this together and not one of us ever needs to feel alone.
LikeLike
Hi runawayellie,
I too have been really struggling to stop this craziness for the past year and a half. I’ve gone for several months up to four sober at a time and then start up again. For the past few months I’ve been binge drinking on the weekends. This past weekend (Friday & Saturday) I drank a bottle 1.5 ltr. (ten glasses) of red wine each day. Recognizing I’m escalating again I’ve decided to stop…again. But, I’m not at all confident that I can stick with it. There is a very special event in a few months that has me questioning my resolve already. This is what makes me crazy. I can leave the booze alone for extended periods only to find myself talking myself into imbibing “just this once” and then I’ll stop again. But, the “just this once” turns into a marathon without fail. I then start reading about the health horrors that can befall a heavy drinker and get scared. But never so scared that I stay totally away from it. I am so tired of this cycle. I know I’ll be fine all week until Friday and then the battle will begin again. Hopefully I’ll make it through by reading lots of the posts here. So, I’m on day three…and I so hope I can finally win this war. Thanks for reading.
LikeLike
Hi toxicsoul,
I fear for you. You write that you’re “fine all week until Friday” when you know you’re going to drink again. That’s not really being fine in the least. That’s just tolerating your existence until you go on a binge drunk again. Sounds more like hell to me.
You say your scared for your health. But clearly you’re more afraid of being sober.
You say you drank 20 glasses of wine last weekend. So you’ve been sober less than 48 hours, but you’re not confident you can stick with it and are anticipating “a very special event” which has you worried. IMO you should not even be considering going to this very special event if you expect to have a chance to win this “war” as you call it. No “special event” should be important enough to you to risk any sobriety you have.
You say you’re tired of this cycle. Are you tired enough to get some extra help? I hope you’ll consider entering a program of some sort to help you. You sound like you’re really desperate and could use some daily hands-on assistance from professionals. Sometimes, just reading blogs isn’t enough. A lot of alcoholics need more if they expect to recover or re-heal.
Have you ever even considered going to an AA meeting, if for no other reason than to get yourself started and trying to establish some accountability? You should be willing to go to any lengths to get sober if you want to get results.
I’m certainly no expert on sobriety. I’ve spent way too much of my life intoxicated. But I was a binge drinker like you and us binge-types are just as seriously sick as those who are throwing it down every day.
I may seem to be rather harsh here, and of so I apologize for sticking my nose in here. But I care and sobriety isn’t all milk and cookies and it can demand drastic steps, some type of action and uncommon commitment.
I want you to win your booze war…so I want you to start using all your weapons. Please reach out to some people in person about your need to stop drinking entirely. If that is simply not acceptable to you, then please consider doing something differently than you have – so you can finally stop drinking on weekends. Booze will kill you any day of the week and what’s happening to you now is very scary.
Please keep posting about your progress. Thanks very much for reading my suggestions. That’s all they are. I’m just worried about you.
Easy Rider
LikeLike
I agree with Easy Rider, very worried about you. Once you commit to sobriety, there are no excuses, no allure of alcohol fueled ‘special occasions.’ Sobriety allows you to live EACH day instead of holding out for that day in in the week where you lose control and wake up hungover and full of regrets. You do not have to to do this alone. Be done with the crazy train, and ask for help. Let us know how you are doing, you can do this!
LikeLike
So after almost a year of sobriety.I felt I could handle it and started drinking again, don’t really need to go into how that went, lets just say the bottle beat my ass again.Today I have made the choice to face my demons and get sober again and would just like to say thanks for all who have shared on here.Its nice to know there are others who have struggled and came through it. Thank you all for the inspiration.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Jim,
I’m one of those guys who relapsed – after almost 18 years. I went back out and didn’t come back for almost ten years. The cunning, baffling and powerful nature of this problem truly revealed itself to me and I’m sure I would have ended up in jail or in very poor health if I didn’t commit myself to sobriety again.
If you’re inclined, I’d be interested to know what your thinking was that preceded the relapse. Were you thinking about if for awhile? How long did you drink? Did you find your alcoholism had progressed even though you were sober for nearly a year?
Just looking for general input, nothing specific. And if you’re not wanting to share anymore, congrats on getting back and I hope nothing too bad happened to you. Good to hear another cautionary tale such as yours. It helps us all stay sober.
Easy Rider
LikeLike
Jim and EasyRider,
Sadly I hear this regularly from people who have returned to drinking because they felt they could handle it after taking a break and found the exact opposite to be true. Now you know, and thank you for writing because hopefully you can spare the rest of us from finding out the same. This type of honesty saves lives. I am glad you are here.
LikeLiked by 2 people
This post is so timely for me! I quit drinking last week and was at day three last night when I thought “Why can’t I just have a sip of wine? Not even a glass! Just to ease my tension.” And so I had a little drink. Thing is, I wasn’t as upset about the drink as the fact that I didn’t talk to my husband first (who is undeniably the most loving, supportive. wonderful person in my life and my soulmate to boot!), and therefore broke our first rule (which I’ve been breaking for years by sneaking my drinking – he knew I was doing it, just not how much) of being completely honest with each other. I talked AROUND the subject of maybe just a glass of wine here and there later, but didn’t admit anything. When he straight out asked me if I’d had any wine the next morning, I LIED, which felt worse than any hangover I’ve ever had. When I got to work I called and confessed, he was warm and thanked me, said we’ve just got to stay honest and true to each other and work through this. I did feel better, but now that the weekend is upon me, I’m feeling stressed, anxious and downright PISSED that I can’t drink (notice the word “can’t”). I feel robbed and like I’m being punished (by whom?). I even told him I was dreading the weekend. Why? Because I feel like I need to abstain from alcohol? It’s not what defines me for God’s sake, but it makes me feel padded, for lack of a better word. Like I can just make all the things I don’t want to face (dirty house, having to find something for my daughter to do when nobody EVERY invites her to their house and we are the only ones who have play dates at our house, needing to get things fixed/renovated, inner turmoil, indecision, self pity, GAH!!!) sort of fuzzy and irrelevant. I really wish I didn’t feel like this, but it’s stuck in there. I keep telling myself I’ll have fun anyway! AND I’ll remember it and not say some dumb ass thing to someone I’ll regret, or black out like usual and not remember anything I said or did, or have a hangover. And it’s worth it for me, I know it is… it’s just THE WEEKEND. Here goes…
LikeLike
I feel ya. I drank last weekend after almost three months of success. It was awful, my kids were upset, I blacked out at a new friends house( great impression I’m sure) I was apparently snippy with my husband for no reason, you get the idea. Anyhow I am determined to keep that experience in my mind. Hopefully we will all be successful!
LikeLike
Katie, you are at a crossroads. To commit or not commit. Now is the time to take control and stop allowing alcohol to run your life. I was very much like you towards the end of my drinking career…..one little sip or just a glass was my intent but it never ended up that way. Once I truly made the decision to quit, a gift I gave myself and nobody else, weekends were no longer torments. You deserve sobriety, you are worthy of living without alcohol, you no longer ‘can’t’ drink, and choose not to drink. There is a lot of power making the choice to commit to sobriety, and freedom is the reward.
You have a spouse willing to help. Go to AA, go to rehab, check out the resources on this page and call someone. Check in and let us know how you are doing. You can do this!
xoxo
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’d say Jane is right on. Please listen to her.
Take the bull by the horns and admit (as well as fully accept) the fact that you can’t control you alcohol problem without help. IMHO, the sooner you follow this path, the better off you are. The longer you linger in the spot you’re in, the more demoralization you will experience, the more you will eventually alienate your loved ones, and this will also perpetuate your being upset that you can’t drink. You’re upset because you’re still confused about “why me?” Acceptance is the key.
You won’t feel this way once you commit to sobriety, not if you’re like me. Why be pissed that you won’t have hangovers anymore? No more bad scenes over drinking. Blackouts? Gone. Carb binges on hangover day? Never. Self-respect? Restored. Peace of mind? Clear and focused as a bell. Money? Never wasted on booze anymore. Counting calories? My scale never looked so good. Energy? I feel twenty years younger. The rewards are just so great.
Attitude is so much of everything in life. And your’s is easy to fix. My weekends have never been better. Neither have my week days. So much more productive and so much more energy.
It’s been said many times already, but I’ve never woke up and thought, “Boy, I wish I’d have drank last night.”
The only thing I’m pissed about nowadays is that I wasted far too much of my life trying to prove I could drink normally and failing at that. Miserably. The longer you do it, the more losses you’ll sustain. I think that’s a fact nobody can dispute.
Everybody’s got their own bottom. Take a stand. Set your course now. You’ve got a wonderful opportunity to learn that facing this life sober is a hundred times easier than facing it with a drinking problem. I would actually say that 95% of my problems were caused by drinking. Now, that’s a pisser.
Thanks for being so honest with your post. You’ve really helped me further understand tonight why I’m so grateful to be sober. I wish the same for you as soon as possible.
Easy Rider
LikeLiked by 2 people
I love this response! It is all about attitude. I feel truly grateful that I didn’t end up in jail or worse because of my drinking. It simply was not enjoyable or fun any more. Not drinking at all is infinitely easier than trying and constantly failing at moderation. The sad truth is I didn’t enjoy moderating and I didn’t enjoy drinking to oblivion. And now I actually enjoy the results of not drinking and it doesn’t take as much effort as I thought it would. It is way easier. And I’m happier and more content. I don’t have to waste so much time planning, executing, and recovering from drinking. What a sad waste of time those years were. And I agree, acceptance is the key.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hello. Drunk right now. Looking for a way out. i have promised myself that this is it. This is my LAST night on the Crazy Train. I have promised myself this A LOT. It probably won’t be. I will keep doing this ridiculous nonsense. I know that this will kill me if I keep going. Tonight I googled “reaSons not to drink” You popped up. I want to stop. Soooo…..suggestions? I don’t want to be one of those old ladies who, when asked, “what did you regret?” answers “MORE WINE!” I am minimising and I know it. If I stay small, I won’t ever have to risk anything. Hiding in the bottle is easy.
This is robbing me. Its stealing my sweet nature. I am bereft. Sorry. I looked for other places to help but none of them hit me like this one. sorry. PLease? If you can help? Please do.
LikeLike
Hi Sid, thanks for your honesty and humor. You are not alone, my friend. I am here to tell you that I could not get through a day without drinking for many years and life now is sooooo much better without it. I feel like the best possible version of myself – free from the heavy burden of being chained to my wineglass. Is there someone in your life you can open up to and ask for support? Would you consider connecting with sober people through a recovery meeting in person or online? I encourage you to check out some of the resources listed on the side of my blog. If you would like to hear the voices of sober women telling our stories, check out http://www.thebubblehour.com and download some episodes. Pop in your earphones and go for a nice long walk while you listen to those podcasts tomorrow morning. Think about the life you want. Know that it is possible. I am cheering for you.
LikeLike
Thank you so much for cheering for me and thank you for your words of advice and encouragement. I am planning for this to be my Day 1. No-actually, as Master Yoda would say “do or do not. There is no try.” Today IS Day 1. Keep cheering, I know I will need it!
LikeLike
Hello Sid,
I feel for you and echo the sentiments previously expressed by Jean.
Everything you say is true. You have become crazy, in a way. This is ridiculous nonsense. It will kill you. You are living in a very small, devoid world, caged in by alcohol abuse and hiding from reality. And yes, booze is preventing you from being yourself. It is robbing you of your specialness. And you are risking everything if you don’t stop drinking.
At least you have the presence of mind to ask for help. You need help very badly and asking is the first step. You can be sober and honestly wanting sobriety is a huge sign that you can and will be successful.
But things have to change. I hope you can surround yourself with others in recovery. Even if you don’t believe in AA, I would make it to a meeting as soon as you are sober, if I were you, or some other group. Just to set your course. Just to physically be around people who understand so you can decide what sobriety route you’d like to follow.
Keep in touch with any sobriety source you can think of and make a decision that enough is enough, if you can. If that’s not possible for you yet, try to just not drink for any reason and hang in there. You don’t have to be bereft anymore. You can stop. You’re a lot more powerful than you know.
You have helped me by coming to this site and I thank you for that. Once upon a time I was sober for almost 18 years. I’m trying to get back there again. I truly believe I will and if I can, you can too.
Easy Rider
Day 73
LikeLiked by 3 people
Amen, Easy Rider. Beautiful words of encouragement.
LikeLike
I agree that it is well well put and your candor is to be commended.
LikeLike
Hey Easy Rider. Thank you so much. I have poured away the rest of the wine, put clean sheets on the bed, drunk about a gallon of tea (I’m British-we believe tea is The Cure for Everything). I am trying to give myself the best chance I can for today to be Day 1 for me. Its interesting isn’t it, that only now that I have stopped to reflect I suddenly find myself thinking ‘I wonder who I am when I’m sober’. I envy you your 73 days and congratulate you on what now must be Day 74. Stay strong. You are inspiring. Also-spare a thought for me this evening as I white knuckle my way through this shit?!
LikeLike
That’s one of the best rewards sobriety brings – finding out who were are and what we are really capable of. The key for you now, IMO, is to focus on sobriety being your #1 focus now and forever. That’s how you pile up the days, months, weeks and years of happiness, not just sobriety.
It may sound impossible, but being a drunk probably sounded impossible to you one time as well. It probably took a long time for you to get to this spot, but you’ll find you can progress very quickly in sobriety as long as it’s #1 in your life.
For me, I can’t really be a happy, productive, adult member of society unless I’m sober. It all starts there. Without sobriety, I was just pretending, and eventually even that stopped working, which is why we are all here on unpickled.
Congrats on reaching your Day 1 decision. Please surround yourself with people who can help and who understand something about your past and can give you hope for your future. It’s all there for you.
Please grab the brass ring and don’t miss this opportunity to end the madness and start living what can be a better life than you ever imagined. Do whatever it takes and some day you’ll look back upon today, May 26, 2015, as the day you got your life back – and it only gets better and better.
Easy Rider
Day 74
LikeLike
Easy Rider I like you already, you candor and positive insight are the same type of things i expose to peers and clients in my personal development and motivational circle and I believe it is why I’m a little disappointed in myself because I’m not living my truth and I’m letting alcohol and the abuse of it distort that truth for me and not let me be the man that I’m meant to be and it stopped yesterday. I have to deserve and require better for myself.
LikeLike
Sid, you are, right now, this minute, facing the opportunity of a lifetime — the incredible power to release yourself from prison. I was very much in your shoes, and decided to get off the crazy train when I could not do another hangover Monday.
Go to family or a trusted friend. If there is no one close you can confide in, call your doctor. If that is not possible, use the resources on this page and call one of the numbers or do a Google search to find resources in your area. Come back here and tell us how you are are doing — you have support every single step of the way back to being the person you want to be.
I just spent almost 2 weeks with my daughter and 20-month-old grandson, and baby sat my 6-month-old grand daughter. My daughter asked me how I felt about spending so much time with my family. I told her that every day is a gift, and that had I not made the decision to change 10.5 years ago, none of these experiences would be possible. I predicted death or might as well be dead because my family would not have had anything to do with me had I decided not to get sober.
Sid, ditch that bitch alcohol, best friend, worst enemy. There is so much life waiting for you.
xoxo
LikeLike
Thank you so much Jane. “ditch that bitch” is going to be my mantra for today!
LikeLike
Sid, I have an arsenal of mantras, let me know if you need more! Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life!
LikeLike
Excellent advice! Listen to Jane!
>
LikeLike
Sid….I’ve been there. It’s not easy but reaching out here is a great step in the right direction. I seem to be strong in the mornings and weaker as the day goes on. This sight is great for reminding us that we CAN stay sober. Hang tough Sid…you can do this. You’re not alone in the struggle.
LikeLike
So today is my 96th day Sober. I am shocked, afraid & happy all at the same time. As I mentioned it’s getting harder as the weather warms up because it’s so easy to fall back into the old pattern. It’s very interesting how everything “Fun” “requires alcohol according to the world or social media. Every commercial seem to have some beautiful couple of family gathering with someone with a drink in hand and it looks so calm and festive. In my life it always started out fun then it turns into a disaster and I can’t go back there again, I won’t. I have this huge music festival to attend Saturday, Ironically Saturday is my 100th day sober. As I’m contemplating of I should put myself in that situation, my mind say “Well “If” you drink at least you made it to 100 days, Just have beers “. I don’t want to think like that, I want to remain sober. UGK
LikeLike
Change your thinking! I have more fun sober than I ever had drinking, and I remember all the fun instead of waking up the next morning sick and in a fog. I hunkered down for the first 1.5 years, and only went to places where I felt completely safe and with people who supported me. I had to learn how to stay sober in every situation and embrace my new self. If you think you will slip, do not go. Nothing is worth losing your sobriety. 100 days is great, but 101 days is miraculous! You can do this!
LikeLike
Hi Dee,
Congrats on your newfound sobriety. I’m new too, at only 67 days sober. But I once had nearly 18 years of sobriety before deciding to pretend I could drink like a normal person. In the end, that simply proved to be a nightmarish fantasy which was very costly to me personally.
I hope you decide that your sobriety is more important than anything else. I believe it has to be that way for us problem drinkers, or alcoholics or alcohol abusers or lushes or whatever you choose to call yourself.
If you treasure your sobriety as I do mine, regardless of how long you have, you won’t throw it away again for any reason. Nobody can take it from you. You literally have to give it away and for what? The illusion of having “fun” under the influence. You know better than that. And that’s part of the price you pay for being sober. You’re smarter. Please don’t throw your brains away again.
Easy Rider
LikeLiked by 1 person
And by the way…just having beers isn’t any better than martinis, wine or mouthwash, for that matter. That’s what makes sobriety so great. It’s an unforgiving standard. You either are, or you aren’t. You can’t kid yourself. If you can handle a music festival, by all means go. If not, it’s just not worth throwing away the most important thing you have going for you – your sobriety.
Were it me, I wouldn’t be bothered by being around a lot of drinkers, probably because I’m older, have had a long 18 year stretch of sobriety before slipping, and for some reason, I don’t get tempted watching others drink. That’s just not a trigger for me for some reason. I don’t really know why.
But if it is for you, please choose 100 days of sobriety over starting all over again some day, probably soon. You know where your drinking future lies. Stay away.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree with Jane, if you think you might slip don’t go. There will be other music festivals once you are more comfortable with being sober. I hit my 9 month a week ago. At month 7.5 it started to warm up here in MN and I found myself angry i couldn’t go sit on a patio and drink. That feeling lasted a couple days and has since went away. Now I figure I can go, and have twice so far, sat on a patio, enjoyed food, friends and drank something without alcohol.
I had a hard time not being bitter with all the alcohol ads I see on TV and on facebook as well. Everything ‘fun’ does seem to have booze attached to it. I went searching for a groupon last week for one of those painting classes, which most have wine associated with them. After looking at the options I chose one that seemed more focused on the painting aspect without so much emphasis on the wine part of it.
On my 4 month anniversary I went on a party bus. I was hesitant to go but my boyfriend who is a couple years more sober than I, had gone on the bus before (he drives it) and assured me it would be fine. It was fine… to miserable. The band was good. The bar was weird. Usually when you’re out to a bar for a band you drink and the fun keeps peaking throughout the night. When your sober, that doesn’t happen. Everything stays the same, yet everyone around you gets drunk. They stumble, they argue, and it was a shit show. I had had enough and we went back to the bus to wait for everyone to gather to leave. On the bus people started smoking pot. Out of annoyance (and the fact its illegal and we were parked next to the police station) I stood up and said quietly to my boyfriend ‘i can’t be around this’ and got off the bus. The only other place to go was back to the bar. So that’s where we went. It was cold out and I was a good 70 miles away from home. When we went back on the bus, some stoned and drunk girl in her 20’s started saying how ‘OMG these people got off the bus because we were smoking pot, bhahaha’. I looked at her and said, ‘I was that person. I am a licensed state employee and I cannot be around that’. She was like ohhh i can respect that, and was passed out back on the bus within minutes. Ten years ago I was in my 20’s and was that girl.
So my point, stick with what you’re comfortable with!! My gut feeling and brain was saying not to go on the party busbut I did. I stayed sober, but I was uncomfortable and I wouldn’t put myself in that situation ever again. My boyfriend, now fiance learned a lesson that night too, and he will not be driving that party bus anymore for his friends. When you are sober you need to chose your surroundings carefully. Being sober is a happy and freeing experience, keep your surroundings that way with as little temptation as possible. It gets easier, and next summer you can go to the festival and look back and realize you may not have been ready this year for it. 100 days is a long time!!! Why would you want to re do that? Good luck!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
By my calculations (and depending on which side of the ocean you’re on) this should be Day 102 – congrats Dee! I hope you had cake and ice cream and bought a few treats to celebrate this wonderful achievement! Carry on, my friend.
LikeLike
Dee, what you have said here has moved me, being that it speaks to my situation currently. Although, I don’t have the days sober you do, I did last year and have had periods of lengthy sobriety before but I’ve noticed that the weather and the festive nature this time of year has had me fall back into bad patterns and behaviors and I’m stopping the slippery slope before it yields the negative results I received in years prior. I’m asking for help this time to remain strong and not for a sign of weakness. Words from an old weekend binge-o-holic..
LikeLike
In the past I drank copious amounts of alcohol daily. I’ve managed to stop for the most part but I am having some difficulty. Every two months or so I get this itchy feeling. Like my skin is too tight and I always end up getting wasted. Then of course I feel tremendous guilt and regret. Does anyone else get this type of problem? How do you get through it sober?
LikeLike
What is triggering the itchy, tight feeling? Sounds like a craving to me, and perfectly normal especially in early recovery. I dealt with this by acknowledging it for what it was and redirecting (going for a walk, jumping jacks, calling someone) until the feeling passed. Pick yourself up and begin again. No regrets, you can do this!
LikeLike
They are cravings. Only I haven’t been seeing them for what they are. Until now! Thank you for your comments.
LikeLike
Weekends are the worst…nothing to do and a million thoughts in my head, a million worries. I do want to stay strong. If nothing else just because I know that as soon as the alcohol wears off it will be so much worse than now, so much worse. But I have no hope things will get better either.
I need to start re-reading every post in this blog, for the evening.
LikeLike
Nope, didn’t make it. Last night I was with friends in a jacuzzi and drank wine. I am back to day 1 again. Yuck, with a headache.
LikeLike
I found quitting initially to be the hardest part! I probably spent a few years saying ‘Monday!!! I’ll quit on Monday!’ Then I always found I was so hungover on Mondays from Sunday’s that I would need to drink Monday’s (I was physically dependent) so my quit date started changing to Tuesday’s. Then Tuesday’s I would say ‘fuck it! Maybe next week. That cycle repeated itself constantly! After a few years of that I finally told my parents, friends, and both jobs that I needed help and went to treatment at the age of 34. Not everyone needs inpatient but I certainly did. I’m 35 now and just hit 9 months sober last week! My only regret is not doing it sooner, but I’m grateful I didn’t wait any longer. Now I am planning a wedding for Oct and hoping I get pregnant right after that!! Life sober is fantastic!!! I wish you the best! Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you think getting away from your everyday life to reset yourself is needed. Hugs
LikeLiked by 1 person
When you eventually quit, you will feel a relief and sense of well-being that is hard to describe. Hope you get there soon so that we will hear you looking back with amazement at your newfound life and the “best decision” you ever made.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great day today
LikeLiked by 1 person
Today is day 6. I slept through the night for the first time. I need to write this stuff down. How do I do that? Does anyone recommend a good online community for women? I’m 53 and this is going to be a long road. But I’m in. Too nervous to go to a face to face meeting yet. But I know that is in my future. Today is a good day to be sober.
LikeLike
I like the Living Sober community. There is also the Booze Free Brigade that many like.
LikeLike
Day 7 for me today. Having a bit of a struggle today, feeling really tired and blah. Yes it will be a long road, but hopefully so worth it! Love being hangover free, I don’t know why today has hit me different, feeling almost weepy. Crazy.
LikeLike
Keep at it. The beginning is the hardest. I remember feeling anxious but somehow determined. I journaled, read blogs and did yoga daily, ate what I wanted and said no to social engagements. Also listening to Bubble Hour podcast was helpful. People were surprised I quit drinking and thought it was whim. Now at over 18 months it is one of my best decisions. I also was 53 when I quit, good luck to you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just woke up to day 5. My first weekend coming up (this go around). A little nervous.
LikeLike
One day at a time. You can do this.
LikeLike
how does everyone just quit….I don’t see mention of the very real life threatening withdraw symptoms that could happen and how they were managed. The stories here that I read though are so inspiring.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I talked to my doctor on day 3. I was stuttering and loosing my vision/focus. It was very hard, but as my doctor told me, you just have to stop. There is no magic pill, it will get better and around day 9 and things did fell better. The first 5 days were the worse..
LikeLike
For me, I wasn’t physically dependent on alcohol so I was able to just quit cold turkey. For people who are physically dependent and suffer withdrawal symptoms, it can be very dangerous. My husband is in recovery as well and when he quit he had to go to detox because he was physically dependent and was told that he could suffer from severe, life threatening seizures if he tried to quit in his own.
LikeLike
It can be dangerous to quit without medical supervision, just depends on how much you were drinking. I was going through a 1.75 of vodka every two nights which is about 30oz’s a night. I went to Hazelden for treatment and went through detox there. The tremors were horrible!!! They tapered me off the booze and helped ease my withdraw symptoms with Librium. I still had tremors after that so they put me on gabapentin. 9 months and 1 day sober now!!!
LikeLike
The best is to see a doctor, who can give you some medication and can supervise the symptoms. Not only is it horrible, but as you say, it is life threatening. I have been through “quitting” many times, and for a few I was really physically dependent on the alcohol. A few times I did it on my own (I really did not know better…) by just drinking a little at the time, enough to stop the tremors and severe anxiety, before stopping altogether. This was before I admitted I had a problem, if you can believe it, so I was thinking about it as just a bad hangover…. Once I could no longer hide, it was detox clinic and doctor.
I don’t think you have to go to a rehab necessarily or be put in detox, if that is what you worry about. But a doctor can asses what the danger really is based on how much you drink, there are some meds which are not addictive that can ease the process, etc (anti nausea, for example). And most important, I think, it can give you some peace of mind that you can go through the process. Otherwise, the risk is high that in several hours of bad symptoms, it’s back to alcohol time…Again, speaking from my own experience of having my determination crumble in just a few hours of feeling really horrible.
I hope you find the strength to go through, if you are determined to be done with this curse..
LikeLike
Brodie, I went to rehab for just that concern. With over 30 years of drinking, I decided to quit cold turkey. My insurance only covered 7 days, and that was enough time for me to detox in a safe environment. I refused all drugs (pheobarbitol, sleeping pills). I wanted to remember the discomfort of withdrawl, and I still do after over 10 years. Once I was out of rehab, I got myself into an excellent aftercare program (group and 1-on-1 counseling), to help me learn why I drank and to learn how to survive life sober. Well, I do not survive, I thrive! Best decision I ever made for myself. Reach out if you need help, and the best to you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m just beginning day 5. I’ve not yet had a weekend. A little scared for my first.
LikeLike
THANKYOU so much to those of you who so kindly responded to me and your generosity in sharing your experiences. I know that I need to start on a new path , just very scared of how to begin.
LikeLike
66 days
1. What you did instead of drinking this weekend and how was it better or worse than drinking
Friday night I went for a run, then ran errands that I needed to get done. Normally I would have just went home, drank, and left everything until Saturday morning, but I would have been hungover and feeling sick and in a bad mood at all I had to do. Instead I woke up refreshed Saturday morning and leisurely had my coffee since all of my running around was done. It was so peaceful.
2. On the day you got sober, what is the one thing you did that was different? What made it work THAT time?
After having made it two weeks on the first attempt, I started again only worrying about Day 1. Not worrying about the next day, week, holiday, etc. I stopped worrying about what I would say to people and how I would deal with situations sober. I stopped trying to figure out how to do sobriety the “right” way and stopped trying to control everything. I just stopped. I made self care the number one priority and concentrated on only today.
3. What is the best part of being sober?
I feel proud of myself and I like myself. I feel more contented and stronger emotionally than I have in ages.
4. What keeps you going?
I want to find out more about this new me. I think she’s been waiting a long time to emerge.
LikeLiked by 1 person
beautifully said.
LikeLike
So many great replies to the 4 questions, here is mine:
1. What did you do instead of drinking this weekend and how was it better or worse than drinking? I was able to whatever I wanted because I feel great and had no hangover. I’ve been sober 60 days and feel like I’ve come out from under a great cloud. I have more mental and physical energy than I have in a long time. So I took on some yard work and clean up, which turned into some great outside exercise for several hours. I was later checking out the Internet for recovery stories and happened upon this site, which is just what I was looking for. Much better than feeling guilty and shameful over blacking out and making a fool of myself.
2. On the day you got sober what was the one thing you did that was different. What made it work that time? Honestly, I don’t believe I did anything different. I was just ready, sick and tired as they say…and had recently lost a 9 year relationship with a fantastic gal. Something had to change. Much earlier in my life, I had been sober for nearly 18 years. I went back out there about 10 years ago, suddenly thinking I could drink normally again, for no reason whatsoever, really. I eventually sunk back to that deep demoralization some of us are familiar with.
3. What is the best part of being sober? Freedom. Understanding that I don’t have to be chained to the disease which exploited my self-centered nature. I can accept that just doing the right thing without hiding behind alcohol is a simple formula for those of us who want to finally live with honesty and without fear.
4. What keeps you going? Hope, health, thinking clearly and the opportunity to still become the man I know I can be. The grass is greener and the sky is blue again – and I’ve only got these short 60 days. But I really believe this is it for me and the self-knowledge that I’m committed to sobriety instead of wasting my life is a great relief. Anything’s possible now.
LikeLiked by 1 person
1. Friday night – this is a little unusual …. I melted sterling silver into little balls, hammered them into cute little circles and soldered them to wire to make earring wires. When I quit drinking, I suddenly had all this “conscious time” on my hands and I felt sad and bored. I started looking into classes and ended up taking Metalsmithing classes (or Metal Shop for Girls, as I like to call it!)
2. On the day I got sober, I had an appointment with an addiction specialist. That appointment was my looming, final, “it’s for real this time” quit date. I finally really accepted that I can’t moderate, started a blog for accountability and saw a doctor who prescribed sleep aids and some supplements. And a huge factor is all the support felt reading amazing blogs like this one every day.
3. The best part of being sober is … well, the list is long! Clear mornings, no guilt or shame, not worrying about what I said or did the night before, not feeling that constant obsession, authentic connections, being more engaged with the world, trying new things, getting more fit, feeling like a better, more connected wife and mother, not hiding, not feeling horrible all the time, and, and, and ….
4. What keeps me going is feeling honest and true to myself and others. Looking back on my past attempts at moderation and seeing that it is impossible for me. Accepting that reality and knowing that drinking again would not be worth the pain keeps me going. Plus, enough people know now that I would feel (and probably look) really stupid if I started drinking again!
LikeLike
1. What you did instead of drinking this weekend and how was it better or worse than drinking:
I did a LOT of yardwork, ordered chinese food and a movie with my fiance and kids, and drank watermelon juice out of a wineglass. I love my pretty glasses and I treat myself to something besides water when I feel like drinking.
2. On the day you got sober, what is the one thing you did that was different? What made it work THAT time?
I powered through not drinking. I just kept thinking: I won’t drink today. I won’t drink today. Today became tomorrow, and now it’s been 12 days so far.
3. What is the best part of being sober?
Not being hungover at work or on the weekend with my kids. Not being loopy when my kids are over and hiding in my room because I don’t want them to know I am.
4. What keeps you going?
Knowing that I’m practicing self care and I’ll live longer to see my kids grow and flourish, and to spend the rest of my life in the present with my fiance.
LikeLike
Reading everyone else’s stories really helps. It would be so easy for me to fall back into 2-3 glasses of wine each night before and with dinner, because that was my regular habit, that didn’t usually lead to getting drunk unless I went to a party that lasted for hours and I couldn’t stop at 2. I have rationalized so many times over 30 years, and always gone back thinking it was okay because I wasn’t really drinking too much or behaving out of control. However, I know that a minimum of 14 per week is considered unhealthy, and that craving and obsessing about wine indicates a problem. So, I am continuing to read this blog and gain strength and inspiration from you, my friends.
Instead of drinking, I have been treating myself to dessert every night, certainly an improvement, but now I think I will try easing up on the sugar a bit and relying more on the good ole flavored club soda. I am also focusing on getting many chores done, doing things with and for my family, exercising and reading.
I feel good that I have made it through 32 days, and through several hard times with others drinking, but I know I have a long way to go when I remember that 2 years ago I blew it on a vacation after 4 months with no wine. Team Unpickled continues to be my inspiration.
LikeLiked by 2 people
So many great replies to the 4 questions, here is mine:
1. What did you do instead of drinking this weekend and how was it better or worse than drinking? Awoke feeling wonderful, took walks, did some yoga.
2. On the day you got sober what was the one thing you did that was different. What made it work that time. I am not sure, but when looked back at my journal on day 3, I wrote “hope that I make it through the weekend, no, I need to change that to I will make it through the weekend.
So I guess I had an an attitude shift.
I had a toolbox which consisted of reading blogs, yoga, exercise and journaling.
3. What is the best part of being sober? I finally think I’m a good person.
4. What keeps you going? I love saying what I mean and meaning what I say in a clear voice. No more alcohol infused thoughts from my lips.
From Jean, day 558
LikeLiked by 2 people
I already commented on Friday, but I encountered a couple other moments I wanted to add to my response the the first question.
I went to a baby shower which was held at a legion with a cash bar. Lots of women were drinking caesars and beers but I stuck to the alcohol free punch. I even jumped over another curve-ball when the prize I won in a draw was a bottle of white wine. I mentally shook my fist at the sky and wondered if this was a test! I gave it to one of my girlfriends because, I don’t drink. Felt pretty proud.
Today I was up at my aunt’s house in the countryside for mother’s day and while my Mom, Aunt and three cousins sat around for the afternoon drinking sangria I went out for a 2 mile run and,… THIS IS THE BEST PART:
As I took off running a swarm of about 30 huge dragon flies surrounded me and ran with me for about 5 minutes. It was MAGIC. The coolest experience, and I realized I came out here and found it, almost like a reward, for resisting the sangria and lacing up my running shoes instead.
The message to me was that amazing experiences are out there, and being sober is making me find them 🙂 Anyone reading this who is struggling please know that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a beautiful gift!
LikeLike
I am 118 days sober today.
1. This weekend I played a card game with my family. Everyone usually drinks while playing. I drank root beer. I find that once getting past the anticipation point of not drinking, it’s easy….its the thought of “everyone else is going to be drinking, i wish I could have a few glasses of wine” to be the worst part. Once I’m settled in, I don’t care.
2. I had a rough night before the day I got sober. My husband was extremely disappointed in me once again. I asked him to give me an ultimatum. He said, “if this is still going on in 6 months, we are getting a divorce” (my drinking was our only problem in our marriage). Haven’t had a drink since and our marriage is great!
3. The best part about being sober is not waking up in the morning hungover or in a panic of not remembering the previous night’s events. Also, it’s great to not have my thoughts consumed about alcohol or lying about how much I have drank.
4. What keeps me going is my own willpower, my husbands support, this blog, and the fact that I want to get pregnant soon. I want to be as present as possible in my life.
LikeLiked by 1 person
1. Friday night I went to have Mexican Food and ordered iced tea. And worked on some cute decorations for my mom’s upcoming 80th birthday party. I am starting to enjoy activities alcohol free!
2. The day I quit drinking, I went to the store to get Perrier and juice and I made myself alternate drinks with sprigs of herbs from my garden. I also read blogs! I had to start from day one again because I started drinking again after my 100 days of being sober. But, I soon realized I didn’t want to drink and I am even more determined now that I know that moderation doesn’t work for me. I still have my moments that I feel like throwing in the towel, but I’ve been back at it for 61 days!
3. Best part of being sober? I am still a work in progress as far as why I was drinking in the first place, but I am sleeping better, and I wake up knowing I didn’t drink the night before. That is a real weight lifted!
4. What keeps me going? Remembering what a burden it is to drink one drink after another every night. It is a self made prison. When I feel down, I think about that.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I love the “Team Unpickled.” I’m picturing the motley crew of all of us in softball uniforms.
LikeLiked by 1 person
1. What you did instead of drinking this weekend and how was it better or worse than drinking
Friday night my kids had two friends stay over. While drinking – this would not have happened. Although I didn’t seem to mind my children know how much I drank, I didn’t want their friends to see for fear that they would go home and tell their parents. We had another friend stay over on Saturday night. Again, this would not have happened before I quit drinking.
2. On the day you got sober, what is the one thing you did that was different? What made it work THAT time?
I found this blog. Thank you!
3. What is the best part of being sober?
Freedom. I was mentally tied to alcohol while I was doing other things (I can’t wait to get home to have a beer). I was physically limited by alcohol while drinking. I pretty much couldn’t leave the house after 6:00.
4. What keeps you going?
I still vividly remember the hangovers. I now love early mornings.
LikeLike
1. What I did Friday night:
Enjoyed a little ‘couple time’ (wink wink nudge nudge) with the hubs after work. Had a lovely sunlit stroll down our Main Street and enjoyed dinner (with a lovely soda, cranberry, and lime) with my sweet husband… came home, sat on the front porch with a decaf and enjoyed the warm evening with him. Then watched “Selma”, went to bed early and read. Feeling proud and serene.
2. What did I do differently the day I got sober?
Had a moment of silent desperation. Realized, with finality and dread, that if I kept going the way I was, I WAS GOING TO DIE. Waited a day to tell my husband, but when I did – I felt such relief – and – it was like ringing a bell. Once the words were said, they could never be UNsaid. I had accountability, for the first time.
3. What is the best part of being sober?
It’s impossible to pick one thing! Peace of mind? Self-respect? Liking who I see in the mirror – hell, I LOVE her! Being able to eat anything I want, after years and years of calorie counting. And still losing ten pounds without trying….
4. What keeps me going?
Never wanting to start at Day 1 again. Never wanting to feel that despair and heartache again. Feeling so good, physically, mentally, spiritually. I used to feel sorry for people who didn’t drink. Then when I quit, I kind of felt like a second-class citizen. Now I’ve evolved to the point where I feel just a li’l bit superior to drinkers – because I want to experience my life straight up, uncut. And I’m strong enough to do that now.
If you’re contemplating quitting – read all these posts. Google sobriety blogs and read everything you can find. I used to think people who said being sober was amazing were SO full of bullshit.
But it’s all TRUE. Life is amazing booze free, and you will be present and authentic and serene and proud of yourself if you stick with it.
Life is so much better sober…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can feel your joy and peace. You captured it perfectly. Thank you for sharing this!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Wow, I loved reading this today as I go to a party where the booze will be plentiful! On day 3 here. I love this blog, so inspiring! This makes me want to keep going.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you all for your posts, they helped me.
I’m on day 6, for the n-th time since I have admitted I have a problem. I just cannot seem to make it stick. The Sundays are the worst for me, as a new week of horror at work approaches and the only thing I dream of is the oblivion that alcohol brings. For a second. Because more anxiety and torture follows right after. I now that so well. That is the only thing that keeps me sober right now, as I am waiting for the next two hours to pass, until the store closes. Every day that I can manage, it counts, it gets me closer to stopping, forever.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You can do it. It’s in you to succeed. The addicted voices in your head are fighting to stay alive but you must rise above and know that thinking is self-destructive manipulation. Press on. Consider going to a group meeting for extra support – it’s can make the difference of success. Connecting with real people who are sober is electrifying.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Staying connected to the sober community helps a lot. I read sober blogs when I feel like I just have to have a glass of wine. It helps, believe me. I am on my day # 7, n-th time around, just like you. It is not easy but it is doable. I hope I can say this is my last time around. Just like Unpickled said – it is in us.
LikeLiked by 2 people
You’ve hit on a key thing here — when the inner addict is clamoring for a drink, the trick (one trick) is to divert its obsessions with some sort of pleasant oblivion toward the reality of the entire drinking episode. Turn its head toward the miserable end, and the next day. You got that! Doing great, keep doing those waitings-till-the-store-closes.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Day 2 … Was very anxious today. .. Angry…. Sacred… Been almost a decade … Love it here .. Reading ..calmness…
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hey ashamed…
interesting the typo you made above…turning scared into sacred.
Day 2 IS sacred…and you are well on your way to changing ashamed into proud.
Keep at it!
Keep reading!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Morning……..(morning of day 3)
I have not slept that good in 8 years…..was AWWWWWFUL falling asleep…but my eyes feel clear( does that get even better?..thought I was going blind)…my heart or head is not pounding…..is it me or has the tinnitus went down notch?
The birds are singing and the coffee is just stupid good…
Yea the spelling mistake….yesterday(day 2) was allot of anxiety…Mr. Franza could help me with that…2 boxes a week…..GAWD what happened to the last 10 years
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sober mornings are the best! Sober evenings can be trying tho – remember how good this feels if you’re tempted to give in to cravings. Great job.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m glad you’re here. No more shame, not with us. Stand tall and reclaim your life. I admire and respect what you are doing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Morning of day 5…. I feel wonderful … Last night was hard … I wanted to see Ms. Franza ….she is so intoxicating…. No pun intended …
Coffee gets better every morning …. My eyes have really cleared up… Not as foggy all day … Mentally I very clear…physically I feel allot better but after that shower this am I have aged….51 now …. Some things are coming back…evil grin…
LikeLike
Yeah, lovely typo. Anger is sacred. Strong emotions can’t hurt us, keep sitting with them, reading, accepting calmness whenever it comes.
LikeLiked by 2 people
1. Friday night. Movie with my kid and of to bed early. Feels so good.
2.Do different? Realized I wasn’t going to stop drinking too much unless I stopped drinking.
3.Best part: not trying to contain an uncontainable problem all the time. Not debating with myself about whether or not I should slow down or quit drinking every day. I find myself going long periods without thinking about anything to do with alcohol.
4.Keeps me going? Knowing that it is infinitely easier to resist that first one than it is the one after. And that it will never ever ever be just one.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Wow! Love this! Every word.
LikeLiked by 1 person
“Contain and uncontainable problem”. Whoa. Exactly. Exhausting and impossible. Let it goooo.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes. This is so true.
LikeLike
“Knowing that it is infinitely easier to resist that first one than it is the one after.”
Exactly! You’re speaking my truth in your whole reply. Thank you!
LikeLike
1. FRIDAY NIGHT: Maybe a date with my husband or dinner out with the whole family. Now it’s just without cocktails/wine.
2. DAY 1 OF SOBRIETY: June 6, 2014. A couple of acquaintances were discussing going out for cocktails sometime that summer. I just smiled and said, “Maybe,” but inside I was thinking, “I don’t do that anymore.” That was the moment my thinking shifted. I no longer identified as a drinker.
3. BEST PART: No guilt! I am treating my body and mind with respect and living honestly.
4. KEEPS ME GOING: See above. I have come too far to give up on this.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Beautifully said SanFranSober: “A couple of acquaintances were discussing going out for cocktails sometime that summer. I just smiled and said, “Maybe,” but inside I was thinking, “I don’t do that anymore.” That was the moment my thinking shifted. I no longer identified as a drinker.”
SanFranSober, my aim is to be able to go out and meet friends enjoy their company and they enjoy mines but be able to say “I longer drink thanks, I don’t do that anymore” and still totally enjoy the experience and have them respect my sobriety and the evolved me. I’m a little ways from that now, but that is a goal that I’m shooting for in the future, maybe not the very near one but soon enough.
In addition, I love your BEST PART: No guilt! I am treating my body and mind with respect and living honestly. WONDERFUL!!!
LikeLike
1. What did I do this weekend…? Friday night I continued my one-woman campaign to rid my yard of the last bits of lawn grass (surprisingly tough, that plant) and a horrid weed that wants to eat my yard alive. Chatted with neighbors who walked by. Last year I would have a glass of beer out there with me and be buzzed for most of it. This year, just as chatty but happier and clear headed. I also feel a special affection for the tiny volunteer sprouts I encounter, and though I’ve always loved plants, this tenderness seems new since my new sober clarity.
2. What was different on the day I got sober. I don’t actually know.
3. The best part. The layers of peace and contentment that keep opening up. (I also love not worrying about whether people can smell alcohol on my breath!)
4. Keeps me going? Those layers of peace and contentment. They surround the hard, edgy, weird moments and keep me safe.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sorry for all the typos.
LikeLike
Perfect post for me to read today. I apologize in advance for intruding with my comment. I know you’re intent was for people with advice but I feel compelled to share this.
1. My Friday night. (Last night)
After a decade of heavy drinking, a failed marriage, multiple health and financial problems, and an overall sense of “I hate myself” I decided to quit drinking. So I bought a 6 pack with the intention of tapering because my consumption is excessive. After I finished the 6 pack I reach for the vodka which is ripped from my hands by my boyfriend who tells me that’s enough and I’m ruining my life. Which made me break every dish on the table because I flipped it over on rage. He leaves after telling me loves me but he hates my drinking and I need to make a decision what I love more.
2. The day I got sober (today) what I did differently.
I called my best friend and told her the truth.
3. Best part.
To be continued but I already have hope because of this blog.
4. What (will) keep me going.
My daughter, myself and knowing I don’t know what the future holds but I do know I can’t do THIS anymore.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Your words are not an intrusion; they are a welcome reminder to us all. A big, strong, warm, two-armed (((hug))) to you. This is your day. We are all around you in support. Sober together. You deserve better than a life of numb disappointment. I’m not going to lie – the next few days might be very difficult but you can get through it moment by moment. Just keep doing that next right thing. Don’t drink. For suggestions of getting through the early days, please see the comment I left earlier today on the post called “One Day Sober” from March 2011. Chin up. You belong here among the brave, awesome, normal, happy, perfectly imperfect people in recovery.
>
LikeLiked by 4 people
Try reading The Easyway To Stop Drinking By Allen Carr. I just finished it and am a week free of drink after 17 years of heavy use. I’m looking at “quitting” differently than I ever have and so far I haven’t looked back. May sound funny to say after only a week, but I don’t know the last time I went 2 days without drinking. I can’t fathom the last time I went a week, if ever. The problem is not ourselves, it is the alcohol and our perspective on it. Check the book out on Amazon, look at the reviews. I wish you the best!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for that! I am on day 2 and looking for any resource to help me through not picking up that first drink. And best wishes to you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Try reading The Easyway To Stop Drinking By Allen Carr. I just finished it and am a week free of drink after 17 years of heavy use. I’m looking at “quitting” differently than I ever have and so far I haven’t looked back. May sound funny to say after only a week, but I don’t know the last time I went 2 days without drinking. I can’t fathom the last time I went a week, if ever. The problem is not ourselves, it is the alcohol and our perspective on it. Check the book out on Amazon, look at the reviews. I wish you the best!
LikeLike
How fun is this? I love it!
1. What you did instead of drinking this weekend and how was it better or worse than drinking
I learned how to play “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” on my Ukelele, scoured a bunch of old photo albums for a pic of my mom and I for mother’s day, and cleaned my entire apartment.
When I was caught up in my addiction, I stopped caring about music at all and completely lost the will to play my guitar and Uke. They’ve been collecting dust for the past year, untouched. But no more! I finally regained my interest in all the things I used to love, because I’m not NUMB anymore! I’m also able to look at old family pictures without feeling an immense sense of shame at how I turned out. I can call my mom on mother’s day without being nervous that she’ll know I have a buzz going. And as for the cleaning, well, I couldn’t be bothered to even do the dishes in the height of my addiction. All I cared about was where my next buzz came from. It was exhausting. Now I’m sitting in a sparkling-clean living room enjoying this feeling of accomplishment.
2. On the day you got sober, what is the one thing you did that was different? What made it work THAT time?
I had discovered blogging and had read so many recovery stories that I was overcome with inspiration. I wanted to join their ranks. I started my own blog and poured all my feelings into it. I don’t know why it helped so much, but it did.
3. What is the best part of being sober?
No more shame. I feel like a good person again. I don’t have to construct elaborate stories to explain my behaviors anymore. I can just… tell the truth.
4. What keeps you going?
Music. Blogging. Opening up to a few trusted friends. The Bubble Hour. And taking it one day at a time.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So inspiring!!!
LikeLike
So I answered this earlier without being specific enough about ‘how’ I got started. I was scared and hopeless and helpless, almost paralyzed. I knew I needed to stop drinking. I was standing on the abyss. Fork in the road. I took the lifeline of Belle’s 100 day challenge. I turned off my thinking/drinking brain. ‘Just this’ as Belle says. I just committed to it. Just 100 days. I can do that much. Decide & figure out other stuff later. Do the treats, a little excercising, tea, lots of sleeps. I listened to episode after episode of The Bubble Hour. Put one foot in front of the other. Small steps. Journaled my feelings. Did a gratitude list. Slowly, things shift. Sleep gets better, anxiety & depression start to lift. I’m on day 82 and things are night & day different. If you can’t imagine quitting forever (like me) but can make a small commitment, do the 100 day challenge. It might just change your life in a short period of time. I can say now instead of panicked, I’m calm(er). Instead helpless, I’m helpful. Instead of hopeless, I’m truly hopeful.
Tree
LikeLike
Ah! Love this!
1) This weekend I made a gift for a set of adorable twins (hand stamped onesies- so cute!), went to the farmer’s market at 9am, played with my son for hours, made a healthy breakfast from local and fresh ingredients, watched a movie and ate dark chocolate on the couch with my husband, and am planning to go to a small town to eat fried chicken and scope out a campsite for Memorial Day weekend later today.
2) On the day I quit drinking I told my husband that I CAN”T DRINK NORMALLY NO MATTER WHAT, started a blog, and made the decision to do whatever it took to quit drinking forever. I put my mental foot down.
3) The best part of being sober is getting to know my true self. My anxiety levels are so much lower than they used to be, I am suffering much less from ‘imposter syndrome’, I am no longer depressed, and I don;t care so much what other people think. I am SO MUCH HAPPIER!
4) What keeps me going is the excitement of not knowing where the future will take me. The possibilities feel endless now, at least most of the time. It is a really good feeling.
LikeLiked by 1 person
These comments are so uplifting. I still can’t manage it; but I keep reading, I keep trying, I keep hoping. Annie x
LikeLiked by 1 person
This will sound crazy but I’ve been seeing 11:11 frequently over the past few months that I’ve quit drinking. Did I just not notice it before? Is it really my life coming more in to balance as they say? My spiritual awakening? I don’t know, but it’s undeniable. I’ve seen it so so many times. My phone, the car clock, at work, seemingly random. Now I just smile. So when I saw your message posted @11:11
I smiled again and had to respond. Be not afraid. There is hope. An abundance of hope. And grace. Grab on, Tree
LikeLiked by 1 person
11 is a very powerful number in numerlogy, and you are blessed for recognizing the significance! The meaning of 11: Stay positive! Your thoughts are materializing rapidly, so you want to ensure positive outcomes by focusing only on the good within yourself, others and this situation.
Nothing like getting a gold star stamped on your forehead from the angelic realm. You are on the right track!
LikeLike
I miss your blog Annie!! Nice to see you are still out there!
LikeLike
Annie, good! Keep your reading, trying, hoping… you will find your way.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am cheering for you. Annie. I know you have it in you to succeed. A better way awaits.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have a lump in my throat from the powerful comments I’m reading. You all are inspiring, strong, truth-speaking angels who offer a gift just by taking a moment to share. This post+comments exchange is some serious sober goodness. I love you people! Thank you for standing together with me to wave a flag of hope and encouragement.
LikeLiked by 1 person
1. What you did instead of drinking this weekend and how was it better or worse than drinking?
I didn’t drink last night, so when my alarm went off at 0430 this morning, I was more willing to get up and go to work where I have a good attitude and am tolerable. I am not fighting a headache or a “zone out” as I drink as much coffee as possible just to get through the morning. I will not be planning “not to drink” fully knowing that once I make in through the morning, I will be planning my next drink, you know, to celebrate the weekend.
Tonight, I will be going to watch my niece (who I saw enter this world) walk in “Grand March” (a yearly ritual of prom goers and their dates). 146 days ago, I would NOT have wanted to go. Too boring!!! Plus, there isn’t any wine to keep me from being “too bored”. I probably would have fixed myself a little “to-go” beverage in my, socially acceptable, travel cup with a straw and had a complete shitty attitude. After the prom walk, we’ll be headed to dinner at a tapas restaurant, where, I will feel a bit “out of place” because I will not be drinking. I’ll mentally micro manage everyone else’s drinking, thinking “they” are probably having more fun than me but then realize, 20 minutes later that, I too, am having fun and enjoying the company of my sister and family. I will drive home, sober. I will go to sleep after reading to my son, sober. I will sleep peacefully, sober. I will get to wake up, sober.
2. On the day you got sober, what is the one thing you did that was different? What made it work THAT time?
I apologize for my absolutely disrespectful and embarrassing behavior from the night before. My Mom will tell me what I really did because what I remember is totally different. I will go to my first noon meeting. I will not raise my hand for four meetings. It worked for me because, for the first time, others were telling me that I had a problem. I knew that I had a problem with alcohol but once everyone else was saying I did, I believed them.
3. What is the best part of being sober?
My son is absolutely thriving! Everyone can notice a difference in his behavior and attitude. I am so glad. So glad. So glad I stopped drinking.
4. What keeps you going?
The support of my fellows, my family, my friends.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve been feeling low this week because of a few things that I have to deal with in my personal life. I was almost letting it “get” to me when I decided to open up my wordpress and read what is going on in the sober community. Reading this thread this morning brought my perspective back in line…I’m 118 days (that’s 4 months) sober and that’s amazing.
1. What you did instead of drinking this weekend and how was it better or worse than drinking
Last night after work I was having dinner at the restaurant next door when something came up and I needed to go back to work. I went back to work, and solved a problem which was a huge win for my team. When drinking, I would never have been able to go back to work on a Friday night to take care of a critical situation because I would have already been drinking. After work, I went to pick my teenage kids up from their jobs…another thing that I couldn’t do before, or (ashamedly) I would have driven buzzed or drunk to go get them.
2. On the day you got sober, what is the one thing you did that was different? What made it work THAT time?
On the last day that I drank, it was a Sunday afternoon and I told my daughter I was going to the grocery store, and I stopped at a local pub/bar on the way, intending to have only a few (and then get a bottle for later). Two hours later, my daughter called and asked where I was, and if I was going to get some food because she was hungry. I hung up the phone and ordered another drink. I had told her I’d be right home. At that moment I could feel the pull of alcohol pulling me down, down, down. I thought to myself “I just ordered a drink instead of going to get dinner for my daughter”. I was too drunk to go to the grocery store. The idea that the pull of alcohol had become stronger than my motherly instinct just terrified me. I felt my spirit dying. I left, bought a take-out dinner for my daughter (it was only her and I that day), bought a bottle of wine and finished it at home. I was completely aware, even while I was drunk… I was aware of how strong the compulsion was, how toxic the wine really is, and how much I seemed to need it. I didn’t know how I was going to live without my wine and I was terrified of giving up wine for good…I drank the bottle I had purchased, and cried myself to sleep, alone, drunk and afraid. I knew I couldn’t drink anymore. I haven’t drank in 118 days since.
3. What is the best part of being sober?
The freedom. And knowing that for the first time in a long time I’m on an authentic path to getting better in every way that matters. My life is far from perfect, and I will be healing and dealing with the consequences of hiding behind the wine for a while to come…but I love, love, love feeling like an authentic person, a good mom, employee and friend.
4. What keeps you going?
Hope. I have a sense of hope that I haven’t felt for a long time. I actually like the person I am becoming. I’m living my life with more compassion for others and myself.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Love your post! I think we have the same sober date! Happy 4 months!
LikeLike
1. My weekends: are filled with me running first thing in the morning. I try to fond time on Saturday to spend with the kids, park, fair, farmers market around the corner. Oh and not drinking. Before I would drink on Friday night to excess, be hungover and wallow all day Saturday till I drank again. it’s funny all the things you can notice that are around you when you are sober. The most important thing for me in the begging was just to “get out of the house” on the weekends
2. WHAT I DID DIFFERENTLY ON THE DAY I STOPPED DRINKING: I reached out to a sober gal her online. Unpickled was the blog I came to on my day 1, 5 months ago. I was my ” I can’t do this shit for one more day, day. That’s what was different.
3. BEST PART ABOUT BEING SOBER: Beside the guilt being gone? I get out and do stuff. I follow through on commitments with friends. i’m more social because I’m not hiding anymore.
4. WHAT KEEPS ME GOING: The sleep, the way I feel! I guess it’s sober momentum. In the begging it was very hard, I had to reach out almost everyday for support. I feel like I’m me again and anything is possible. If I would have kept drinking I would probably be divorced, without my children, jobless and quite possibly dead!
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is day one for me and this post is exactly what I needed to see. Its only 9am, so I have along way to go. Goal is to make it one day right now. Can someone tell me what the 100 day challenge is? Thanks.
LikeLiked by 2 people
It is a challenge to not drink for 100 days that Belle, another great sober blogger, offers. Her blog is Tired of Thinking About Drinking. You can check it out to find out more!
LikeLike
One day at a time, one hour, one minute. You can do this!
LikeLike
You can do this! Welcome!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks for the support. I’m going to bed sober, so I made it through my first day.
I’m enjoying this blog. Its very helpful. Thanks to all who post and comment for us to read.
LikeLiked by 4 people
So incredibly proud of you! Keep telling yourself that a bad day sober is better than ANY day drunk!
LikeLiked by 1 person
This post is so helpful to me! I am only on day 4 (1 of many). I have had 2 recent periods of 30 days sober. I’ve started both of these with attendance at AA meetings. I even had a sponsor this second round but I just didn’t feel like we clicked. Also, I think AA can be a bit over the top with the 90 meetings in 90 days, etc. I had a higher low than most of the people I met there & it was sometimes hard to relate. Anyway, I quit going, drank pretty moderately for a week & then decided that I just feel better when I don’t drink at all. So I emailed Belle (again) & started the 100 day challenge again. I want so badly to push past 30 days & make this stick permanently. I feel so much better sober! Why can’t I remember that?!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I was at a meeting yesterday on step 7, character defects. The presenter had 12 years and then drank again for 8 months. She said in that 8 months she forgot that quickly how great the 12 years of sobriety felt. I’m coming up on 9 months and it does get easier!!!! When the spring weather came I initially felt butthurt that I couldn’t go drink on patios for happy hour anymore. That passed, now I go on occasion and drink Virginia mojitos or club soda. As far as meetings hopefully there’s some that are better than others. Some are fanatics and they are annoying to me as well. I heard of a sponsor that made his sponsee get on his knees in caribou and say a step prayer. The sponsor told him if he wants it bad enough he would do it. Seems like bullying to me…. But, I guess it’s different for everyone. Good luck!!!!
Ps, I work with mostly alcoholics that are stuck in nursing homes under the age of 55 due to alcohol related diseases. This shit will kill you!!! One of my clients burnt out his tongue with cancer from drinking, he didn’t even smoke!! It’s an extreme example but it will catch up and in the end being sober is a much better alternative. It’s nice to be present and not obsess about the next drink and ‘do I smell’ ‘does anyone see my hands tremble’ I could go on for hours! Feel free to reach out and I wish you luck!
LikeLike
1. What you did instead of drinking this weekend and how was it better or worse than drinking.
This weekend I am spending a well deserved weekend away with my husband in another state. We are enjoying new places to visit, great food, shopping and sight-seeing. He can have a couple of drinks and I could care less. It used to bother me but that is a fading memory.
2. On the day you got sober, what is the one thing you did that was different? What made it work THAT time?
I wish I could explain why it worked THAT time. The day before I quit I read about 2 sober blogs in a magazine while waiting at the dentist office. I guess I decided to have a go at it (again) and really did it that time. I also kept it quiet and secret – in case I messed up (again.) Then it turned into a gift I gave myself and wanted to keep it safe and close.
3. What is the best part of being sober?
The best part about being sober is: NO REGRETS! No regrets, no shame, no blackouts, no hangovers… I am present and accountable, I’m healthy, I’m organized…
4. What keeps you going?
I don’t ever want to be THAT person again! If I have one tiny drink I will turn into her. I want to be a sober mom for my grown kids and a sober grandma for their yet-to-be-conceived children. I enjoy life again. I’m happy again. Who would want to mess with that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Friday night I came home from work and went to my “safe place” (bed) to relax and read for awhile. Then hubby got take out for us for dinner. Played puzzles on my Ipad and watched some light tv. Went to bed early and it felt great…
First day? I had been on a two week vacation south and had come home exhausted and depressed from drinking every day, and now having to go to work anxious, hungover, etc.. Got the flu and a cold, too and so just didn’t feel like drinking at first and then consciously made a choice. I am doing the 100 day challenge with Belle..and am on day 26. (a newbie).
The best part of being sober? Feeling like I can respect myself. Doing something about anxiety. it’s much better…
LikeLiked by 4 people
I finished work, went to a boutique and bought 2 custom bathing suits for vacation this summer, made pasta salad for mother’s day celebration today, and finished up the evening reading in bed. How is this different from my former drinking Friday nights? Hmmmmm…..no comparison…..
I have been sober for 10.5 years, and it has stuck because I healed. Resolved my past, and learned forgiveness. I learned that perfection is overrated, and humility and accountability are empowering.
The best part of being sober is being present for my family especially my grandchildren. If I had not gotten sober, I would have lost all of it, and thank my guardian angel for being there the moment I surrendered and asked for help.
What keeps me going is loving life, and my grandchildren. And plans. I have plans to buy a toy hauler/camper and haul the motorcycle, me and my love across the US when we retire in a few years. I already have my dream vehicle (Ford F-150). I am able to make things happen instead of being mired in the quicksand of addiction.
I still have an issue with shame, and still get very emotional when I talk about my journey because it boggles my mind that I got so far down the rabbit hole. I realize that I would not be where I am today without those experiences, and everyday is a work in progess.
Thank you for this blog, you speak my language!
LikeLiked by 3 people
Hi Jane! Glad to hear you are well. I am on Day 138. I can’t tell you how much of an impact your comment had on me. It still stands out as a beacon during my early sobriety experience when I was desperate for encouragement:) that’s why this blog is so great – the people here know what’s needed to help newbies and/or long timers and eagerly off that support. I know I’ve already thanked you Jane, but it really meant so much. I wanted to check in:)
LikeLike
1. My sober Friday consisted of a good day at work (I’m an Assistant D.A.) knowing that I didn’t have to wonder whether my tired-looking face revealed my nightly over-indulgence of wine. There were times I wondered whether I might smell like alcohol or whether my blood pressure was elevated. Not long ago, someone told me that I smelled so “fresh” every day. It made me so grateful for sobriety.
2. On day one I told a couple people that I was done with alcohol. Accountability is a strong motivator for me. Then I spent my time cruising blogs and fantasizing about how being sober in my mid-fifties might look. And sobriety didn’t disappoint…strong, clear-eyed and always able to be there for anyone, anytime. Someone needs to ask me something at 10:00 at night? Check. Elderly mom has an emergency? Bring it.
3. There are so many best parts…I’ve always been viewed as a responsible, reliable person. My life now actually matches up with that perception. This sounds silly but I never again have to look at my phone in the morning and cringe because there is a text or conversation that I had that I don’t recall. Did I sound “normal”? What time did they call…9:30pm?? What?? For people that have big lows, that may not sound like much. But all of us nightly wine drinkers know exactly what I’m talking about. Bless.
4. There are a lot of things that keep me going. I remarried about a year ago and, while I could easily fuck up this great life and great opportunity I’ve been given, it won’t be because of alcohol. I’m looking a 21 or so months sober and I look and feel better than I have in a very long time. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not always joy joy joy. Getting married and watching my daughters sip champagne while I got dressed was…interesting. Weekend cabin trips with friends took some getting used to. But I have NEVER looked back and regretted being sober through it all. So dear stalkers, as you read this, think about freedom. Think about peace. It’s a powerful life, this sober thing.
LikeLiked by 4 people
Reblogged this on lsilveriblog and commented:
My Friday night consisted of meeting my husband for dinner after a crazy busy week at work. Coming home getting into my Jammie’s talking to my daughter about her recent trip to Guatemala, relaxing in my den with my dogs, husband and tea concoction of my night time tea, preparing for my busy day on Saturday. Not dreading getting up early because how I might feel because I drank enough wine for the neighborhood so I could sleep after a crazy week! That was my reward then, now I’m up early feeling great, slept well, ready for my day!!! I love this feeling!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Love reading all these stories of hope. When you’re drinking, they seem so alien and out of reach, but as soon as you stop, they become your story too.
This weekend is no longer defined by drinking. It’s now all about being fully present with my family. On the day I got sober, I drank a lot of tea, ate a lot of chocolate and concentrated on just getting through that one day.
The best part of being sober is feeling life grow again; embracing possibilities and hope. No longer a prisoner. That keeps me going; hope and freedom.
LikeLiked by 3 people
My Weekend Started Early…because I am newly alcohol-free and practicing “self-care” which means I scheduled to take of this Friday over a week ago as a personal day, versus emailing in “sick” at the last minute because I felt like crap from staying up and drinking wine while watching SVU. (Like wine, it’s really hard to cut yourself off from Law & Order: SVU. It should have it’s own monitoring system on Netflix).
For the first time in a long time, I had peace of mind to enjoy my day without checking work email or obsessing over my choice to take off work because I planned a personal day in advance. Planning in advance! Not feeling obligated or guilty! That’s new for me.
Friday day: Walked two miles for a cupcake. Really. I took a nice long stroll while listening to the Bubble hour and then stopped at a cupcake shop I’d always want to go into but never “allowed” myself because of calories (because wine calories didn’t “count”?). I ordered a salted caramel cupcake — “for here” to enjoy in public, not “to go” and snarf by myself at home. I sat at a table by the window and ate that mofo with a fork while enjoying the rare L.A. rain. It was joy. Walked two miles back home feeling the pleasure of enjoying something without guilt/shame. Not too long ago I’d be wine shopping as a key part of my three-day vacation, a “reward” that instantly whisks me away like a dysfunctional York Peppermint Patty commercial.
Watched an HBO documentary about Ann Richards, the former governor of Texas who was open and vocal about her alcohol recovery and one of the most bad-ass women who has ever graced the earth. My favorite quote from her about women: “If you give us the chance, we can perform. After all, Ginger Rogers did everything that Fred Astaire did. She just did it backwards and in high heels.”
So, here’s to doing it backwards and in high heels…
Thank you for this opportunity to share.
LikeLiked by 3 people
i live in L.A.
I want to know where that cupcake was!
(and it sounds like a GREAT weekend)
LikeLike
Hi Mishedup! The salted carmel cupcake (among other fine options) can be found at Lark Cake Shop on Sunset Boulevard in Silverlake. Go and get yourself one–or two! ; ) Thanks for supporting my choice…
LikeLiked by 1 person
1. What you did instead of drinking this weekend and how was it better or worse than drinking
I left work with all of my work caught up. Ran to the store for some items for my dogs. Came home and took them on a walk with my fiancé while we talked about our days and I told him about the fabulous noon meeting I stopped at today. I’ve been slacking at AA meetings lately. I cleaned the kitchen, we went out for dinner, then we came home and I took a jacuzzi bath, my new almost daily ritual:)
2. On the day you got sober, what is the one thing you did that was different? What made it work THAT time? I had to check myself into Hazelden for a 28 day inpatient stay. I knew I needed help for some time and finally was able to get everything in order so I could go. I admitted there on 8/11/14 with a BAC of .387. I had a whole week from that first phone call to admission so that last 3 days before I went up I went on a huge bender. Vodka, wine, and beer. I wanted to get all my drinks of choice in before I gave them up forever. I also wanted my detox to feel as horrible as possible so I would never forget how awful it felt and how bad I had got.
3. What is the best part of being sober?
I look and feel sooo much better! I can recognize myself. The puffiness and redness in my face is gone and I lost 40lbs pretty quickly after I quit. My life is so much better now. I met someone amazing that I am going to marry. My depression and anxiety issues I found out we’re both from the alcohol, I wasn’t diagnosed with either. And I finally feel like a ‘normal’ person, even though I will never be a ‘normal drinker’ again.
4. What keeps you going?
Even though it’s been almost 9 months, it still feels like yesterday that I was trapped in my alcohol addiction. The taste, smell, and feelings I had then are still vivid in my mind and I never will go back there again. My future keeps me going today. I want to have kids and raise a family, I enjoy my job working with addicts (so I am reminded daily what happens if you don’t stop) and I can do much better in this life sober. I know if I drink again, it will kill me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Damn! I want to be riding a harley down route 66!
Today I am recovering from some oral surgery I had yesterday so I have been eating soft foods and watching a lot of TV I also spent some time researching a solo driving trip I am taking to MN from Los Angeles (We should talk JOSE!) and missing my regular yoga practice (because of surgery).
Does that sound boring? It’s been great day! I didn’t drink.
On the day I stopped drinking I surrendered,admitted i was powerless, threw down that white flag and said enough. Stood up in a recovery meeting and took a welcome chip and then went home and went to bed. Day 1.And I haven’t had a drink in a little over 4 years.
Everything is the best part of being sober. I’m engaged in life again, I make plans, I take risks, I go out. I feel things, all those things i tried to not feel by drinking. And none of it kills me.
What keeps me going? The certain knowledge that things can get better. I never knew that, I was living in despair, certain that my life was over and that there was nothing good left for me. I know that isn’t true. I am full of gratitude for the good and the bad because everything has something to teach me. And I am useful; I help others and am so grateful to not be the selfish, self-centered mess that I was.
and YES….if you’re reading here please know you are in the right place. This blog, other sober blogs are here for you to read, to see how people got and stay sober. This is where you will find you are not, ever, EVER alone. Once I understood that I didn’t have to do this alone I was able to get sober….we’re here for you.
LikeLiked by 5 people
First, I have to say I love this assignment!! I find this blog and so many others related to living and being sober helpful especially in the beginning of my sobriety. I love knowing that I’m not alone in this even if you fellow sober warriors are my virtual support group. So thank you Unpickled for this blog and your leadership!
1. What I did instead of drinking this weekend and how was it better or worse than drinking?
Friday night, tonight, I went to dinner with my husband, had a delicious, refreshing lemonade and then came home and now we’re going to watch a movie. Tomorrow I’m going to wake up early and go for a run. This is something I recently took up after drinking. And tomorrow we’re going to go on a day-road trip to go hiking and then have Mexican food for lunch. Yum! This is much better than drinking because I feel great tonight and I’ll wake up early feeling great and my weekend will be longer because of it.
2. On the day I got sober, what is the one thing I did that was different? What made it work THAT time?
I made a commitment to completely stop. I had tried for years to drink in moderation and it never worked. I had to break up with the drink. I know that I will never be able to stop at one drink without obsessing about having another and another and another.
3. What is the best part of being sober?
The best part of being sober is the way I feel. The way I feel mentally – I used to feel depression quite often, hopeless, but now I feel happier and look forward to the future. And the way I feel physically – I love waking up early, refreshed and ready for the day. I sleep so much better, better that I have in years.
4. What keeps me going?
Several things but my health most importantly. I’ve spent so many years abusing alcohol that I’m ready to spend the rest of my life being healthy and feeling good. And also how much time and energy to getting sober and being sober I would be so angry with myself if I slipped up, although I know it happens. And if it did I’d get right back on the wagon. My first day sober was 1-14-15. I haven’t had a single drink since then and I’m very proud of that.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Just have to say 1-14-2015 is my day 1 too!!! Go us! I share all the wonderful things you say about sobriety!!
LikeLike
1) Nice Friday night, good meal, water with lemon, reading and watching T V with husband.
2) The day I decided to become sober was different. I woke up dreadfully ill. I suspect pancreatitis. Sick for 3 straight days. Said never again and it has been three years.
3) I love the new found energy. I must have been walking around in a depressed fog.
4) I recommit every morning to this wonderful new style of living.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My Friday night: I took my kids to the playground, had dinner with them and my husband and hung out with my hubby after the kids went to bed. Low key and perfect.
The day I stopped drinking: I was finally honest with my husband (and myself) and gave him all of the empty bottles I had hidden throughout my bedroom and bathroom, and told him I was done. I had actually quit two weeks before but I spent that time reading and reflecting and listening to pod casts (well really, one podcast, The Bubble Hour) trying to decide if this was really it because I knew that if I came clean with him and was was brutally honest with myself that I could never have another drink for the rest of my life and that was a daunting and scary thought for me.
The best part of being sober: wow, there are so many. It’s the best gift I have ever given myself. For the first time in a very long time, I feel a pure, genuine love for myself, I am happy to be me. I am not perfect, but I am real.
What keeps me going: I love my life now. I am present, I am here, in the moment. I appreciate the little things in life and I am grateful for it.
Jenn
11 months sober today!
LikeLiked by 2 people
‘I am not perfect but I am real’. I love this. I struggle with low self-esteem and feeling that I could be better, prettier, just more perfect dammit! But I am going to print this off and stick it on my fridge. Being real is far, far better than constantly trying to be someone you’re not.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes yes – this is at the heart of recovery. Self acceptance. That’s where it begins.
LikeLiked by 1 person
1. This Friday NIght:
Went for a walk with my hubby, went got ice cream, watching TV show “Say Yes to the Dress”. (A little boring Friday!)
2. What I did Different:
I had been trying and going to meetings, but this time I did Belle’s 100 day challenge, started my own blog, and told everyone in my family and my friends too.
3. Best Part of Being Sober:
I get to be me, and I am not too bad!
4. What keeps me going:
I want to continue to be happy.
I have worked hard, have learned so much, connected with new people, am happier in my marriage and if I drank, I’d give that all away.
8 months sober!!!
xo
Wendy
LikeLiked by 3 people
My Friday; at nearly 3 months sober, I’m in a bit of a parenting crisis with my teenage son. In the past I would’ve been dying for a Friday escape (at noon) with booze and put off dealing with it. Today instead, I helped my son formulate a plan to catch up on quite a lot of missing school work, went to the gym and took a sauna, then took my dog to the woods for a hike with a friend. Way way better. The day I stopped drinking I forgave myself for falling again and got back up. Decided I was ok and deserved better and started acting like it. The best part is the SLEEP. Long glorious uninterrupted restful sleep. I used to wake up sick and panicked and scared in the middle of the night all the time. And the way I feel physically and emotionally keeps me going. And my kids. I can’t, won’t go back to drinking.
LikeLiked by 2 people
1. What you did instead of drinking this weekend and how was it better or worse than drinking?
Yesterday I called my niece to tell her that I was not going to make it to her birthday party. I was able to explain that I did not feel well and was open about that without feeling ashamed. The not feeling well now comes with dealing with my life – not from drinking. This morning I spoke with a friend on my current situation and again I noticed that I do not have to hide anymore. I can say ‘I have difficulty with organising myself’ without feeling guilty. And that allows me to be in a conversations instead off hiding and having to come up with excuses why things don’t work. I can now accept things, which makes it a hell of a lot easier to deal with them. Denial is not constructive and exactly that had seeped into every aspect of my life. :-(. It’s still there, but working on it.
I slept through the night. 🙂
2. On the day you got sober, what is the one thing you did that was different? What made it work THAT time?
I had been hit by a car on a pedastrian place (while being sober) and I felt that this was The Sign that my aggression towards myself had become so big that even others picked up on it. This made that I finally gave up on thinking that some day I might be able to moderate. I went to my GP and she listened with kindness and clarity and had the possibility to say ‘No’ to alcohol in a kind but firm way. I thougth ‘I want that what she has!’ So I studied on the subject of alcoholism, read loads online, made my own file with information and questions. Some more things happened that shaped my decision to quit so I worked towards my quitting date by reading Jason Vale’s book and the night before I very conciously drank as much as I could from my favo’s and really paid attention to what every sip did and how it felt in my life. During this time I enlarged the nausea and confirmed in my mind how bad alcohol is, using all the information I had learned in the weeks before. Also during that night and in the weeks before I had listened to the addict within complaining about me quitting so I knew what ‘he’ was all about. And I cut loose.
8 Months something sober today.
3. What is the best part of being sober?
Not having to hide. So learning experiences can become learning experiences instead of another dose of shame or guilt. Yes, the freedom. And…. not being depressed anymore, eventhoug I am in a bit of a pickle these last days it is NOTHING compared to continuously walking around with the conviction I am better of dead.
4. What keeps you going?
Being free. Alcohol was a very dark prison for me. ‘Life expands according to one’s courage’
‘There is no problem in the world that does not get worse with alcohol.’
‘Every second you do not drink the addict within becomes weaker.’
The knowledge that I, while being sober, would have to learn to deal with everything I had drowned earlier. That is nice to know upfront.
The sober blogosphere, the connections, the writing and reading.
My pink clouds! They are and have been A-MA-ZING. 🙂
My daily routine of writing about ‘I am happy that I quit’ because it shows me directly why I would not be happy – so I can work on that.
LikeLiked by 2 people
🙂 Looks like I got in the wrong line with my answering the questions. Hmmm..
LikeLike
Not sure what to say. Admiring your sobriety….feeling a bit stalkirish…needing to connect with a person who seems so much like me
LikeLiked by 4 people
Hi Ann Marie. We all have so much in common, which is kind of funny because we think NO ONE could EVER understand and then, um, yah it’s pretty common. Don’t feel like a stalker – it’s all here for you to look through and know that you are not alone. We all help each other around here!
>
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s amazing the more research we do and blogs or whatever we read we see the similarities in others. Love this post..
LikeLike
1. MY FRIDAY NIGHT: I initially felt very anxious that I would be home alone tonight and I panicked and tried to make plans. Nothing panned out so I decided to take a deep breath and enjoy the time alone. I took some time for self care – I gave myself a blow out so my hair looks extra purdy for the baby shower I am attending tomorrow, did some grooming, and researched an all natural body oil recipe I plan to make this weekend. Now I am winding down for the evening with my new BFF sparkling water and looking forward to driving my little sister to the airport very early tomorrow morning. 4 months ago I would probably have said no, or been extremely grumpy tired and spaced out for that drive!
2. On the day you got sober, what is the one thing you did that was different? What made it work THAT time?: I decided I was ready to heal myself. To take care of ME.
3. What is the best part of being sober?: Feeling at home in my own skin, learning to love myself, reconnecting with a part of me I had long forgotten, but that I now know was just buried. I feel like I am ‘back to my old self’ but really it is that I am being myself, myself without the brick of alcohol weighing me down, holding me back, drowning me out.
4. What keeps you going? Knowing how proud I will feel when I make it to 1 year, and longterm… knowing that my life will literally be shaped by this decision. Who I become friends with, what I do, who I love…it’s a very exciting prospect because I know it will all be healthy.
(I am 3 months and 13 days sober today.)
LikeLiked by 3 people
Love it – thank you! Congrats on 3 1/2 months. I will eat some ice cream in your honour! *clink* with my tea cup!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Ohh the icecream I have eaten over these 3 months… good lord!:)
LikeLiked by 2 people
1.It’s Friday night 8.30pm and I’m tucked up in bed at an Airbnb in Oklahoma writing a blog about my trip from Chicago to Santa Monica riding a Harley on Route 66! Heaps of fun. Loving the fact that every day I wake up to a clear head and feel full of wellness.
2. Asked for help – told my husband and my doctor I had a problem and I wanted to stop.
3. Yes me too – I really like who I am ! I am cool – honest, transparent and authentic and genuine – I am being the best I can be! It feels right!
4. Every day I know I need to work at being the best I can be – I know one drink will take me straight back to where I was and I don’t ever want to go there again.
LikeLiked by 4 people
YOU ARE RIDING A HARLEY DOWN EFFING ROUTE 66??!! Can’t get much more sober-baddass than that, my friend! Love it!!! Standing Ovation right here. clap clap clap
LikeLiked by 5 people