“I’m Sorry” by Nancy P.
On a recent episode of The Bubble Hour (Nancy’s Story S7 E23), a poem was shared that touched many listeners. I’ve since been swamped with requests for a copy, and I’m pleased to make it available to you here in print and audio form. My gratitude to Nancy for her vulnerability and courage in telling her story and reading her poem.
Some of the links in this post are affiliate links.
If you choose to click through and make a purchase,
this podcast may receive a small commission (at no additional cost to you).
Thanks for your support of UnPickled in this way.
Click here for audio of “I’m Sorry”:
I'M SORRY I always said “I’m sorry” for everything I did I think that it began When I was just a kid. I’m sorry that I’m little I’m sorry I get mad I’m sorry if I’m not as smart As my mom or dad. I’m sorry that I’m shy And that my chest is flat. I’m sorry I’m not ready To do the stuff like that. I’m sorry about the baby He’s colicky; he’ll cry I’m sorry I can’t comfort him No matter how I try. I’m sorry for my house It’s messy, we have boys... I’m sorry for my car It’s making a strange noise. I’m sorry about my cooking It isn’t always great. I’m sorry that I’m tired I’m sorry that I’m late. Sorry about the garden The yard is such a mess I need to do some weeding We need to fix the fence… I’m sorry about my dog He should be better trained I’m sorry about my kitchen I’m sorry about my brain. I’m sorry about my hair I’m sorry I’m a bore I’m sorry sometimes I forget What I had said before. Sorry I was quiet Sorry if I said too much Sorry I was clumsy Sorry I was rushed. Sorry I spent money Sorry I was cheap Sorry I’m so sensitive Sorry I’m too deep. Sorry that I drank too much Sorry that I quit Sorry if you find that weird Sorry for my shit. I’ve been sorry for my flaws Each and every one And yet I have to tell you Sorry isn’t fun. I’m sick of saying sorry Or swallowing my words It’s time I just said “fuck that” All these “sorries” are absurd. I’m not sorry for my thoughts My hips, my breasts, my brain I’m not sorry for my feelings I’m not sorry for my pain. I’m not sorry for my cooking It’s nourishing and good I’m not sorry for my car It takes me where it should. I’m not sorry for my home It’s filled with love and care I’m not sorry for my body My wrinkles or my hair. I’m not sorry for my voice I think it should be heard I’m not sorry for the many times I’m searching for a word. I’m not sorry that I’m sober It’s how I want to be I’m not sorry if you wish I’d drink, I’ll have a cup of tea. I’m not sorry that I’m human Warm and soft and kind I’m not sorry I’m imperfect In body and in mind. I’m ready for that chapter Of apologies to end I’m ready for acceptance Of everything I am. And so I’ll just apologize One last heartfelt time To the person that I’ve been, and am The person that is fine. I’m sorry, little girl That I criticized you so I’m sorry, awkward teenager I should have let you know That you were truly lovely Compassionate and smart I’m sorry brand new mother With your enormous heart. I’m sorry middle-aged me I love you, you’re a dear I’m sorry that I’ve hurt you But that is stopping here. I’m finding self-compassion The missing link, I think I know it’s what I didn’t have When I would choose to drink. My light is shining brightly My sisters are at hand I’m ready to take care of me In every way I can. I’m rising through my sadness I’m rising from my pain I’m rising from my guilt I’m rising from my shame. I’m ready now to stand I’m ready soon to soar I’m ready, please come with me I see an open door… by NRP, a woman in recovery 2019
Have you ever considered writing a poem about your own experiences in recovery? Here are some resources to get you started: