Weekend Reads and Such

The internet seems to have exploded with recovery resources in the past few years, and I have happily clicked away many pleasant hours following the trail of crumbs from article to website to blog to podcast. Often this is how we stumble upon just the lesson needed that day. When the student is ready, the teacher appears.

Here are some resources that are off the beaten track, but worth a look:

How We Love – this website, blog and book by husband and wife authors Milan and Kay Yerkovitch is about relationships and not recovery, but it should be required reading for those of us who are trying to understand ourselves better in sobriety. It starts with a quiz on the website to determine your attachment style, and then helps you understand how you relate to the others around you. There are lots of articles for free on the website, and I found the book to be a worthwhile investment. This book had a huge impact on me, allowing me to better understand my husbands, kids, and family of origin.

William White – You may recognize Bill White from The Anonymous People film, (which I highly recommend), as the plain-spoken intellectual advocating for a new way to think about recovery. Lose yourself for hours reading his work, which may challenge your perceptions of addiction and recovery. Don’t be dismayed by the old-school website, just appreciate the volume of work you have access to there. There is also a great video series “Life Beyond Treatment”here:

 

Dr Scott Haltzman – Again, not specifically about recovery but rather a topic that is part of many people’s recovery story: infidelity. I came across Dr. Haltzman’s work while I was researching the topic for a Bubble Hour episode (which we ultimately decided against producing). Many people write to me about this issue in their lives, and it seems that there are several ways addiction and affairs can affect each other: sometimes alcohol addiction is the aftermath of an affair as those involved (indirectly or indirectly) look for ways to numb the pain and shame, some may have developed the alcohol problem first and infidelity occurs during a drinking episode, and sometimes the vulnerable circumstances surrounding early recovery can lead people to make bad decisions. Either way, it is a painful issue that is hard to talk about. Dr Haltzman has identified a connection between infidelity and addiction, a phenomenon he calls “Flame Addiction”. Here is an excellent 3-part series of the topic: The Relationship Between Infidelity and Addiction

Mom – I have so much affection for this sitcom about a mother and daughter in recovery.

mom on cbs.jpg
AA meeting scene from “Mom”

It doesn’t always get the details exactly right, but it honours the sobriety experience and the challenges of having relationships in a world full of booze and drugs. Allison Janney and Ana Faris are superb, there’s lots of lingo and messages without being preachy. Often there are scenes in AA meetings that demystify the program, possibly giving someone the courage to attend. I believe all the old seasons are on Netflix and Season 4 is airing now on CBS. Make a pot of tea and spend a quiet afternoon hanging out with the imperfect, funny women.

Well my friends, that should keep you busy on a chilly January weekend. Check these out and let me know what you think.

 

 

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8 comments

  1. Thanks. In my previous attempts at leaving wine behind me I always reflected on how much drinking there is in our TV shows! Which always triggered my cravings, and oftentimes the “rational one in my head” would whisper “see it’s not that bad if they’re doing it’s ok, everyone does it! It does not mean you have a problem.” I mean, I’m a 38 year old woman and I would more often than not fall for it!! In any event, I have seen this show advertised but never watched it. now knowing the premise I will add it to my cue! Thanks Jean. Yesterday I reflected on the fact that I have had MANY days 1’s but yesterday was my first ever day 32 and today day 33 and I am so very proud of myself. Looking forward to diving into all of these resources. Thanks again, hope you are well.

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  2. Just watched three episodes of Mom. Hilarious, and still poignant about the grip of alcohol. I do not identify with the characters sexual escapades while drunk as I was the married drink at home in private type. But the self loathing and the need for self forgiveness is just the same and dead on. Thanks again, Jean. You are spoiling us with your daily gifts!

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  3. Just viewed the promo for Anonymous People – can’t wait to watch it. I’m also super stoked about your commitment to blog everyday in January – yay for us! : )

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    • I just downloaded “How We Love” on my audible app. My sister had told me about this last year and after reading your post and reading the book info on the link it looked like something that would help me with some more understanding of myself and my spouse. I have watched the “Anonymous People a few times and loved it and heard The Bubble Hour interview with Bill White and loved it but didn’t know he had a video series which I will check out. Thanks for the resources, I hope you are coming along with the healing process, and look forward to more inspiring “Unpickled” posts from Jean!

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      • I’ll be curious to hear how you find the audio version. I flipped back and forth through the book, using it more like a resource manual than a front-to-back read. Let me know what you think. (Ps – the Bubble Hour episode about The Anon People you heard was with the movie’ creator, Greg Williams. We’ve never had Bill White on the show but my God, id love that ! I’d probably be too excited to properly interview him!!)

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